


Mirror, Mirror

by Useless_girl



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bromance, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, M/M, Male Slash, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:03:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mirrors and reflections go hand in hand and can be used as tools to discover the real you.<br/>Is Jane Foster brave enough to look deep inside that mirror? Will she be able to deal with what she might find there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Note:** After I watched “Thor: The Dark World” in the movies, inspiration came to me on my way home, but what started out as a short story, grew into something longer and deeper. After some research, I took the liberty to add a few extra elements from Norse mythology and make some changes in them and the characters. I hope you’ll enjoy it, and remember: feedback is always welcomed. ;)

 **Pairing/Category/Rating** : Jane Foster, Thor, Loki. Marvel universe, HET, SLASH, romance, supernatural. NC-17.

 **Note 2:** All quotations are from the amazing _Digital Dagger_ ’s albums. I highly recommend listening to their music while reading this story and in general too, because they’re brilliant.

 

 

 ** _Illustration_** _by Useless-girl  
_ Full size [HERE](http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/037/0/8/mirror__mirror_by_useless_girl-d75c9p5.jpg)

 

**Mirror, mirror**

 

**Prologue**

_“I will keep quiet_   
_You won’t even know I’m here_   
_You won’t suspect a thing_   
_You won’t see me in the mirror_   
_But I crept into your heart_   
_You can’t make me disappear”_

                         (The Devil Inside)

He’s an ass. None of the words he utters are completely true. Lies sneak out of his wide grinning mouth like venomous snakes. One bite can be your downfall. He is selfish, he cares only about himself and his obsession of becoming a king, which – according to him – would be his birth right. But he would prefer to rule over people with cruelty and fear. He would be a terrible king, if you ask me. A real catastrophe. No one should let this trickster get near any power or ally that would help him reach his goal.

Those sneaky looks, those smug grins… He only helps or co-operates when it serves his own purpose – and even then he betrays you and stabs you in the back. What he wants, he gets it sooner or later, the prize and sacrifices made along the way doesn’t matter to him. Just setting eyes on his lean form is already dangerous. You can never know how he’ll get into your head. Before you notice he makes you do exactly what he wants you to do. You can never relax around him. He’d even sell out the only person whom he truly loves: his brother. Hell, he already did that countless times! (I’m sure during their thousands of years there were plenty more of those occasions.)

Thor says that he finally reached the point where he cannot see his beloved brother in him anymore and that he cannot trust him either. And that he’d kill him if he gave him a reason to do so. I’m not so sure about that. Although I’m just a human in most Asgardians’ eyes, I do have eyes. I could see their love-hate relationship from close during my short visit to their homeland, carrying that darkness inside me.

It wasn’t just simple darkness that spread in me like a virus. The ancient substance opened my eyes to many things. For instance, I could see the darkness in Loki’s heart. He was feeding it with the painful memories and the injustice of the past – and with the rage that he felt towards his father, brother and… himself. But still… that darkness couldn’t overshadow an equally strong emotion: his love for Thor. He hid it well, deep under the surface while always doing the opposite of what was expected. But I think Thor can see through his games. They grew up together and he told me that they were very close for a long time. Such a bond leaves traces that penetrates and takes roots in one’s soul.

And when they thought I was unconscious while the three of us were traveling in the dark elves’ world, Svartalfheim, I’ve discovered the strangest and most shocking thing while watching them fight: Thor had a small piece of that very same darkness in him, which somehow connected him to this sneaky man. I don’t really understand – despite everything he’d done – how he can still love Loki so deeply. He considers him his brother, although they aren’t related by blood. But as we know well, family doesn’t end by blood. And Loki feels the same, no matter how many times he’d denied being a part of their family since Odin told him the truth about his real ancestry.

The other thing this Aether has shown to me is something that has been nagging me for a while now. Of course I couldn’t ask them about it. This suspicion that my mind still tries to deny is that they might love each other more than brothers. Is that even possible? Maybe I’ve read too many bromance stories while waiting to get the results during my research projects. But… the way Loki looked at him and the way he ran to save his brother – whom he supposedly hates – were telltale signs. I don’t know what to think about this. Even if it was true, I don’t know whether I should feel threatened by him or not – after all we are in love with Thor. Or it really seems that way. Is that possible that his heart beats for two? And what about Loki’s feelings for him? Could he really put his hate aside and love someone else besides himself?

I saw the happiness and relief in Thor’s clear blue eyes when it turned out that Loki wasn’t really dead after all. Sure, he was pissed like hell that his brother tricked him again, but most of all he seemed happy to know that Loki was still alive.

How should I feel about this? Seriously. I consider myself an open-minded person, someone who searches answers to questions and I think love comes in many different forms and it shouldn’t be limited by age, race and well… gender either. Was the Aether playing games with me and just wanted to confuse me? Is it possible that an ancient substance like that could do that or have such an effect on the human brain – my brain? I should stop thinking about this and about other things as well…

… like the way those silver-green eyes flashed at me when I slapped him good for what he’d done to NYC, or when he reacted the opposite way than I’d expected and right after the slap told Thor that he liked me… I wanted to shout at him what his problem was, but I didn’t have the chance. God, I so wanted to slap him some more! He really pissed me off with that idiotic grin! No one messes with my planet and beloved ones.

And no one will mess with my head with contradictory behaviour. Seriously, what was he doing protecting me on that godforsaken planet after the Aether was sucked out of me and Thor tried to destroy it? Feeling dizzy and confused didn’t stop me from noticing how instinctively he moved towards me to shield my weakened body. And then the Oscar-winner act came with his fake death. We didn’t have much time to get away and for Thor to grieve, but later it wasn’t easy for me to console my blond love. He tries to look strong and invincible, but he’d already let me close enough to be able to see through that mask. As I was holding him in my arms, my heart was breaking from seeing him so sad about the loss of his mother and brother. And as he talked about them in the darkness of the room, where we were lying in bed and I kept running my fingers through his long hair, my suspicions only got stronger.

It’s not easy to be in love with someone who lives in a different world and completely different culture. Especially because he can rarely visit. I had long distance relationships before and neither worked out… but this one feels different. I don’t know, maybe he’s the One with the capital O. To be honest, I’m confused what to believe in and how to look at the world. Everything turned upside down the minute I hit Thor with my car for the first time in that storm and he and his world entered my life, changing everything I’d previously known.

And now he’s away again to rebuild Asgard after the attack of Malekith and to capture Loki, who’s yet again on the run. Surprise, surprise, huh? I hope he and his friends will be able to capture him soon, because I’d rather not see his next plotting unfold and endanger the people I care for. Especially Thor, of course. I wonder though what Loki is up to now. How he’d want to resist and complicate things for us. And how things will be now between Thor and me. Will our relationship overcome the difficulties that we will have to face? Will Odin let us be together? My first impression of the Allfather wasn’t a charming one. I know he is the king and has to look at what’s best for his and the other realms and of course for his son, but would it be such a terrible thing to find his pair in another realm? Why would I be less than for example, Lady Sif? Yes, I saw her jealous looks when we met in Asgard and I know that she’s a fierce and experienced warrior. I cannot fight the way she does, but I’m trying. Thor has started to teach me how to defend myself and when he’s away, I make sure to keep in form and learn new tactics with picking up some martial arts. I want to be able to defend myself and stop being a dead weight, whom Thor always has to protect. If I want to stay on his side then I’ll have to become worthy to that position. I don’t desire to be queen, I just want to prove myself to him, his father and everyone who doubts that our love is strong and true. I’ll have to change from the bookworm scientist to a new Jane and I will. I know I will. I’m determined and I draw power from the love I feel for Thor and what I see reflecting in his blue eyes when he looks down at me. God, I miss him so much already.

It’s been only a week since Heimdall took him back with the fascinating Bifrost, but I know I have to be patient and believe that Thor’d be back sooner than the last time. Those two years were like hell and I still couldn’t forget him. But this time I won’t try at all and no more dates. Now I know we are bonded too deeply both through our emotions and what we’d been through together. I just hope nothing bad happens to him while he’s away from me. Or to me because of the idiot brain I have!

“Stop thinking about that asshole…” I mumble to myself as I get up from my desk, where I’ve been trying to read the same page of the physics book for the last hour. I walk to the window to look down on the busy streets. I really should get through this and pull myself together – and stop having dreams about those sneaky green eyes. I love Thor and there’s no place for anyone else in my heart. Especially not for such a bastard, who had only confused and betrayed me so far. I have to find a way quickly to stop the fantasies my subconscious creates in those dreams about that snake.

Determination flashes up in my brown eyes again as I pull down the sleeves of my pullover and fold my arms around me, watching the first snowflakes fall on the grey streets. Darcy is late again. Probably held up by her “intern” or something. We’ll have a lot of work to do once they get here. Sighing I watch the people running with bags on the streets. Christmas will be here soon, I realize. I’ve been caught up in work so much that I forgot that. But somehow I have a bad feeling about it. Maybe because probably Thor wouldn’t make it back by that time. He was kinda cute when I explained and he tried so hard to understand what this holiday was about…

The memory and my thoughts gets suddenly interrupted when my eyes catch a way too familiar figure standing down on the corner, looking up straight to my window with that hated sneaky grin on the pale face, the snow sticking to his usual green and black leather armor. Is my mind playing tricks on me or I’m just simply going insane? But no… he is real, the intrigued looks of the people who pass him makes it obvious that he is standing there in the flesh.

“Oh shit…” I mumble as my eyes widen and quickly try to pull back, but I know he already saw me. I run for my jacket and keys. I have to get out of here before he can try anything. I run to the door and nearly tear it open just to stop abruptly from the grinning figure already standing there. “How…” I start but rather stop and try to close the door, but he puts his foot in the way and forces me to step back as he pushes it open. “Leave me alone, Loki and get the hell out of here!” I tell him on a calm voice but it comes out shakier than I want.

“Nice to see you again too, Jane” he says on his velvety voice and the grin doesn’t leave his face as he steps into my flat and quickly looks around with dismay on his face, kicking the door shut behind him.

“What do you want here?” I ask already gripping the pepper spray in the pocket of my jacket as I back away from him, ready to fight.

“You and I, Jane, will make a little trip. Now come and don’t make this harder than necessary. It’ll only make you get hurt and I’d hate to see bruises on that pretty face of yours” Loki says and steps closer and my survival instincts kick in.

The next couple of minutes become a blur as I try to fight him, messing up the room and although I manage to spray some pepper in his eyes I land on the floor, knocked out from the edge of the coffee table. The only thing I can hear before I pass out is Loki’s distant cursing and then I feel that he lifts me up and takes me with him. Then complete darkness.


	2. Part 1

**Part 1**

_“Just pull the trigger, I'll take the pain_  
 _I'll be the villain, just play the game!_  
 _I've found a bitter heart…”_  
                                       (Bad Intentions)

Thor was notified by Heimdall that something has happened to Jane while he was away helping his people clean up the mess the dark elves had made. Worry and fear rose in his wide chest and he felt his heart beating against his ribs as he flew with Mjölnir over the rainbow bridge, after getting permission from his father Odin to check it out. Heimdall soon opened the Bifrost and the tall man arrived to Jane’s apartment within minutes. He saw the knocked out S.H.I.E.L.D. agents coming around. He grabbed one of them by his suit and dragged him along to the half-opened door of her apartment. Seeing the messed up furniture he felt his rage and worry build up even more and turned his icy stare at the human whose legs were dangling in the air.

“What happened here? Where is she?” he grunted at him on his hoarse voice.

“We had… no chance, Sir…” he coughed.

“Where is she?!” he shouted at him angrily.

“Your… your brother Loki of Asgard came… We tried to hold him back but he… knocked us all out… I’m sorry we failed to protect her… He… he probably took her with him” he said with fear in his eyes.

Thor just stared at the man shaking from anger then put him down and shook his head in disbelief.

“She… refused to let us take her to a safe house like when New York City was invaded. We tried to reason with her after you left, but she… she wanted to wait for your return here.”

He looked at the beaten up man for a split second and in the next, when he noticed the blood on the edge of the coffee table, he hit its top, crushing it to pieces. The whole building echoed his wounded roar. “LOKI!!!!”

***

The light hurt her eyes as she tried to open them and the throbbing in her head got stronger. She moaned in pain as she lifted a hand to the back of her scull. First she had no idea where she was or what’d happened. Then slowly everything came back and she quickly sat up just to get her head swirl and making herself want to throw up.

“You hit your head pretty badly, Jane…” she heard that sadly familiar voice coming from across the half-lit room. She forced herself to open her eyes and clear her vision. She was sitting in a bed of a richly decorated yet grayish room. She looked around confused until she spotted the source of that hated voice.

“Where am I?” she gritted through her teeth and her eyes would’ve shot daggers at her captor if they could.

“Well, that’s not a nice look for someone who had your wound tended and brought you to such a nice place, is it?” Loki chuckled and it sounded like the hiss of a snake. “You are in a safe place. Trying to escape would be a foolish thing to do, sweetheart. This realm is my ally now. They finally recognized my right for the throne of Asgard. You wouldn’t get far.”

“Then they are fools. Thor will come for me, you know that well” she said and pulled the cover in front of her chest. She was still in her slightly torn human clothes. She fixed her brown eyes at the demigod who stepped out from the shadows and came closer to the bed. Jane felt the urge to put more distance between them and she slid towards the other side of the bed, fighting her dizziness.

“Stay put. You have a mild concussion, but I wouldn’t force it” Loki said on a commanding hiss and grinned when he saw her froze. He came closer still, having that smug grin on his face that was the exact same like in her troubled dreams. Jane watched him sit down on the edge of the bed close to her. “Besides, Midgardian, I count on a foolish rescue attempt from my dear old brother… That was the plan all along with bringing you here.”

“You want to trap him, don’t you?” Jane asked angrily and tried to pull away when she saw one of the pale hands reach out for her, but Loki grabbed her jaw anyway, forcing her to look up in his face.

“But of course. You aren’t so dumb as most of your people” he licked the edge of his thin mouth and watched hers that was flushed by anger. It seemed he savored what he saw there, but Jane’s fear was overridden by her anger completely. “You have changed, Jane Foster… and to my liking.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked and tried to free her jaw with clasping her fingers around his wrist, but his grip on her loosened from his own will and instead of a slap, that she’d have expected, he caressed her smooth skin.

“You became stronger… and darker. Was it the Aether? Or my dear foolish brother, who changed everything you’ve ever believed in?” he asked watching his long pale fingers on her rosier cheek.

“You” she admitted quietly but determination reflecting in her eyes.

“Is that so?” he tilted his head to the side looking amused and kept feeling the woman’s skin under his fingertips.

“Yes. I wanted to become stronger to fight you, if needed and I was right, it came handy” she thought back on their struggle in her flat.

“True, but not strong enough. I could still easily crush you like an ant” he flashed his green eyes at her warningly as he slid his hand down on her throat and squeezed it lightly “Never forget that, Jane Foster” he hissed then his expression softened, the delicate wrinkles around his eyes smoothing out. “But why would I do that if we could have some fun instead?” he asked watching as his hand let her throat go, letting her breathe normally again and slid it across her chest before leaving her body.

“I’d rather you kept yourself far away from me” she said trying to sound confident, but her quicker breaths gave her away, the tension in the room rising as she tried to calm down her body.

“Now why would you say that, little Midgardian? You are not going to ask me about what I meant by that or what my aims are?” he pretended to be shocked and offended, but Jane could see that he was pretty much entertained at the moment.

“Isn’t it obvious? You are trying to hurt Thor through me by using his feelings for me against him. Why don’t you kill me now and get over with it? That’s what you want, isn’t it?” she asked straightforward, not even blinking.

“You don’t fear death, Jane?” Loki asked back watching her reactions closely. “I could prove you wrong about that. At the end everyone wants to beg for their lives. No, little Jane, I have planned other ways to hurt him through you” he chuckled and twisted one of her brown locks around his pale finger.

“What kind of ways?” she looked at him swallowing hard. She knew well he was dangerous and much more powerful than her, but she was still willing to fight him and wipe that irritating grin off his face.

Loki leaned closer again and this time she could feel his hot breath puffing against her face as Jane could look into those shiny green eyes from close. “For starters? To get inside your pretty head” he whispered on her slightly trembling lips as he looked at her forehead for a second and pressed his fingertip against it just to draw a line from there down on her temple and jaw-line and stop at her chin. Jane couldn’t help it but her breathing sped up and her cheeks flushed once again from his closeness and touch. “How are your nights, Jane? Any hot dreams recently?”

“Get out of my mind, you narcissistic bastard!” she shouted in his face and pushed him away so he landed on his butt. Loki’s loud laughter just irritated her more and made her blood boil.

“Oh I don’t need any powers to know that I am already in there, little Midgardian. I’ve got under your skin, haven’t I?” he licked his dry lips and got up from the bed. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’ll stay in there” he flashed a mischievous smirk at her and ducked when she suddenly reached out to the nightstand and threw a vase against him, which only made him laugh louder.

“Now that wasn’t very nice. I picked out a dress for you. Put it on” he waved to an armchair “I shall return soon, sweetheart. Feel yourself at home” he added and disappeared in the shadows.

Jane could feel that she was truly alone now. She took a few deep breaths as she slid on the edge of the bed. She tried to calm down and figure out what to do now. Loki’s words were spreading in her like a virus, leaving dark thoughts behind. Was it some of his tricks or the problem was with her? She carefully stood up and after the dizziness subsided she went to one of the tall windows and pulled the curtains apart just to be amazed and yet terrified by the sight. The castle-like building she was held in was on top of a hill and as the wind was blowing outside she could see that it was the land of mist and ice. She swallowed hard, because she saw countless guards and a hostile outside world that she knew nothing about. Jane was only sure that it was one of the nine realms and that their fear came true: Loki found a new ally to aid his plan. She didn’t know what awaited her, but she had to brace herself against it and hold on to her hope that yet again, Thor’d come and save her. A role that she started to hate from the depths of her heart.


	3. Part 2

**Part 2**

_“Feel my heart start bursting with envy_  
 _'cuz I'm still in the dark_  
  
 _Someday maybe I will learn_  
 _The comfort of strangers_  
 _And I won't feel the winter's bite_  
 _Looking out at the lonely night…”  
_                                         (Envy)

“We have to locate them and save her” Thor stated, his look telling that he was deadly serious about the situation. Lady Sif, Volstagg and Fandral exchanged a look while Heimdall kept his eyes on the nine realms, trying to find something that would give away Loki’s whereabouts. They were all standing on the rainbow bridge, their muscular friend’s features showing immense worry about what his brother might be doing to his love.

“My friend, with all due respect, but what does Odin say about this? We shouldn’t start a war again with invading a land like we did with the Frost Giants” Fandral said watching his friend and fellow warrior pacing with his hammer in his hand.

“That was different. You know how hotheaded I used to be. Now I am a different person, Fandral. I know what I have to do. I know what is right and we are wasting time. She is an innocent descendant of Midgard and I swore to protect all the nine realms and their people. Her only sin is her love for me” he looked aside with a soft expression on his stubbly face as he thought about the warmth of that love. “Odin knows he cannot stop me in this and I promised him we won’t start an unnecessary war, if we can avoid it. That’s why we should sneak in once we find them with the help of our friend Heimdall” he glimpsed towards the huge man standing with his sword in his hands, his all-seeing golden eyes still scanning the universe.

“That will take some time even with my all-seeing eyes. The nine realms are vast to search” Heimdall murmured still searching the stars.

“I am aware of that, my friend. Please, keep looking” Thor nodded then turned to Lady Sif who touched his muscular arm.

“What about Hogun?”

“I would better have him keep an eye on his homeland. His help is needed there, Lady Sif. It’d be only the four of us. Like in the old days when we went into hopeless battles to win them with ease” he smiled down at her. Thor saw the way she looked at him and her familiar face gave her feelings about this and Jane away. He put a big hand on her shoulder, seeing from the corner of his eye that the other two warriors looked aside and retreated somewhat to give them some privacy. “Sif, I know how you feel, but I am begging you to put those emotions aside and help me out. You are the only people I can trust with my life. She doesn’t deserve the fate Loki wants to force on her. She’d do the same for me.”

“No Thor, she’d only bring problems with her because of her weakness. Like when she came here with the Aether in her and got our queen, your mother killed. She brought destruction on Asgard and she’ll break your heart sooner or later. Either with something she does or by getting killed in the crossfire” she spoke her mind plainly for the first time “What disappoints me is that you know there’s someone else who could spare you all the worry and despair, but your heart had decided to ignore the possibility to have an equally strong woman on your side. Tell me, what makes her better than the warrior who’s been on your side all these years and saved your life countless times? You’ll only get killed because of her. You are walking right into Loki’s trap without thinking because your emotions are blinding you. Don’t you see it?”

“I am aware of the trap we have to face, Sif, but I do not wish to walk into it unprepared” he said calmly and seriously “Sif, you are a strong and wonderful woman who will make someone beyond happy. But that someone is yet to be seen with your eyes. You think that I am that person, but you’ll see that it is not true. Jane isn’t better from you… she is just… different. She brings change, that is true. I believe that change, even if it might appear first as bad will make us stronger and turn into something on which we’ll be able to build a new future. The good people of Asgard weren’t so united like this for a very long time. Look around… they are helping us to rebuild the city and they are growing stronger with each day, rising from the ashes like we always do. I believe I might be not the only one who is blinded by emotions. Please, understand that I love Jane and I will go save her even if I have to go alone” he frowned watching her reactions “The question is: do I have to go alone?”

Sif knew that the other two warriors were watching them too from the corner of their eyes, but she didn’t care. She let her dark eyes look deep into the clear blue ones as her decision was born. She saw how calm and determined Thor was. Nothing like his hot-headed old self who’d run into a pointless battle with head first. He really has changed a lot since he’d met that woman, Sif had to give that to her. She was just hoping she wouldn’t get their future king killed. “No… you don’t have to go alone. Right, boys?” she turned to Fandral and Volstagg as she stepped back from Thor with a small smile on her lips, thinking about what he’d just told her.

“I don’t see any scenario where that could happen, my dear friends!” Fandral walked back to them.

“I feel the same. When do we start?” Volstagg asked.

“Thank you, my friends” Thor flashed a white smile on them for a second then turned to their gatekeeper. “Heimdall?”

“Begin your preparations… and dress warm. You are going to Niflheim soon.”

The four friends looked at each other meaningfully then Volstagg looked back at Heimdall “The Land of Ice and Mist…”


	4. Part 3

**Part 3**

_“Secret, hidden underneath it,_  
 _Trying hard to keep it_  
 _Safely out of reach._  
 _Creeping, I can feel it breathing,_  
 _Calling to the surface,_  
 _Finally in my dreams._  
  
 _Sweet despair feel you devour me..._  
 _Silently, Oh won't you carry me.._  
 _Home.._  
  
 _Taken down I give into what I can't disguise._  
 _I surrender… I surrender…”_  
                                                    (Surrender)

Who decides whom you meet in your life? Do we have a choice in that or we just gravitate towards a pre-made path… a fate to where a web of delicate and countless decisions lead us, sometimes stretching beyond our current life-lines? Are there coincidences or everything happens with a reason? As a scientist Jane’s never believed in coincidences. She thought that even if people didn’t understand something or didn’t see the connection between things, later the pieces would fit together and make them realize what processes triggered those results.

But this time Jane couldn’t find the reason why she was forced to be there with Loki. What possible purpose could be behind him holding her hostage? What would be the outcome? Getting Thor killed by her own fault for being too weak to avoid being taken or not being able to escape? Or to learn how to keep Loki out of her mind? Well, if that was the case then she was failing miserably. She couldn’t believe herself. What was wrong with her? What kind of sick game was her brain playing with her? Why did she see those dreams with him? Why was she thinking about him in that moment too? She strictly refused to believe that she was attracted to the tricky bastard. No, that wasn’t an option. She’d never hurt Thor that way! She loved him, for god’s sake!

She saw what Loki was doing: he was trying to break her will, but that wouldn’t happen in a million years. No, she has to stay strong, no matter what that trickster was whispering in her ear during his visits and at nights in her dreams. She cannot be such a weak woman. A big joke, a cliché…

“Get a grip of yourself, Jane…” she mumbled to herself, standing by the window, shaking from the cold that her dirty human clothes couldn’t fight against. She could’ve killed for a warm bath – which was right there in the next room – but she didn’t want to give Loki the pleasure of seeing her will yield only to feel clean and more comfortable. She’d already decided that she’d freeze to death like this instead of pleasing that snake. It’s been days since she woke up in her prison and she allowed herself to eat only enough food not to faint and weaken herself even more. She’ll need her strength for… What? Fighting Loki? He was already too strong for her and honestly, she wouldn’t have a chance on this planet anyway. She hang on to her only hope, that Thor’d come and close her in his strong arms again. But where was he? What if he never finds her? What if Loki did his homework this time and managed to hide them well? Was Jane prepared to spend the rest of her life here locked up with that bastard? How long would she last?

“He’ll come for me…” she told herself but at that moment her voice was shaky with doubt.

“Are you so sure about that, Jane?” Loki asked appearing behind her from thin air and lightly touched her upper arm, making Jane close her eyes and she felt her doubts getting stronger. What if Loki was right? She just stood there mesmerized by his touch and she wasn’t so eager to move away like she would have done it a few minutes ago. What the heck was he doing? What the heck was _she_ doing? “You think your lover has the abilities to find you here? Do you still believe he didn’t get tired of running after you and save you? Do you believe my dear brother never thinks of you as a burden?” he whispered in her ear, holding both arms now to stop her from pulling away, but Jane didn’t want to move. She just frowned watching the misty landscape.

“Loki… just stop it…” she whispered pressing her eyes shut and not seeing the sly grin of the man near her ear. The silver tongue was working its magic.

“Why should I stop? I am just saying out loud your doubts and fears, aren’t I? Fears of not being strong enough… not being enough for the mighty and legendary Thor. You’ve got a taste of power when the Aether was in you, haven’t you, Jane Foster? You liked that you became more than a weak human… more like us… You felt the power and knew no one could stomp on you… You became the booth and stopped being the ant. You miss that power, I know…” he kept whispering in her ear and stroked out her brown hair from her neck “You desire to have control over your life and what’s happening with it. I can give you that, Jane Foster. You can become that strong woman as you’ve pictured yourself… The only thing you have to do is… ask…” he hissed quietly at the end and pressed a feather-light kiss on her warmer skin, making her take a wobbly breath, which made Loki grin against her skin.

Jane was confused and her mind felt hazy from all the whispering of this dangerous man. She was fighting with herself now. What if he was telling her the truth? What if he had the power to make her powerful? He wasn’t completely wrong. Since her little adventure with the Aether she had a dark longing in her. There was a black hole left inside her soul. The ancient substance has changed something irreversibly in her. And that hole wanted to feed. On her lonely nights when she was laying awake in her bed she felt that darkness grow inside. It was fed by her dark thoughts, her disappointments, her failures and her longing for something more. That longing eased up only when Thor was by her side. His warm body and love made it fade away nearly completely – but yet a small part always stayed. Was Loki trying to trigger that part to reach his own goals?

“Stop it. You are just trying to use me and deceive me with your dark whispers…” she turned around, anger flaring up in her brown eyes that got darker as she looked up at the taller man “I won’t be your toy. I won’t betray Thor’s love. I won’t become someone so twisted and insane like you. Just. Leave. Me. Alone. Loki!” she pushed him back with so much anger and frustration that made her ear tingle. All the built up rage, hopelessness and fear burst out of her and she channeled it against the man in front of her, who made her feel insecure and weak again. The tears of anger were choking her and threatening to fall as they burned her tired eyes. She was suddenly so tired and angry. She tried to hit him, but he grabbed her wrist with an amused expression.

“That’s it, Jane. Let it out. Let it take over. I know you want to hurt me. Try harder! This isn’t enough!” he provoked her laughing mockingly.

“You fucking bastard!” she shouted frustrated at him and tried to free her wrist from the strong grip, while her other hand reached into the pocket of her jacket to pull out the knife she got with her lunch and without thinking she stabbed forward with it.

For a moment she saw the surprise on Loki’s pale face, while her own was burning with her raging emotions. He hissed. Although he grabbed her other wrist too, he wasn’t quick enough to stop the tip of the knife from cutting the skin on his side. Fear flickered in Jane’s eyes as she saw his suddenly furious expression while he twisted her wrist. She cried out from the sudden pain and dropped the knife on the floor. In the next moment she found herself pressed against the nearby wall and she thought it was over: her life’d end right then and there, in an unknown land, far away from those people who cared about her. She tried to fight Loki, but he was much stronger as he pinned her hands against the wall and stopped her legs from moving so she couldn’t even kick him. The glowing green eyes looked straight into her soul, the danger and fury clear in them. Jane was bracing herself for the worst, still trying to break free, but she stopped moving when she suddenly felt the smooth lips pressing against hers.

Her body and mind completely froze not just from the unexpected turn of events, but from the way it made her feel deep inside. Saying that she was even more confused was an understatement as she tried to decide what to do. She couldn’t push him away and as she felt his lips kiss her again, she wasn’t really willing to do that anymore. Jane had the chance to look in Loki’s green eyes for a second when he broke the kiss to watch her reactions. She didn’t understand that dark fire in them that wasn’t only anger and fury anymore. _What was going on?_ This was the only question that was able to form in her mind before she got another rough and demanding kiss from him. And this time those lying lips wiped out everything else from her mind and she kissed back just as passionately. She couldn’t decide why. Anger? Frustration? Fear? Lust? A moment of weakness?

Even if a small voice was shouting at her in the back of her mind she couldn’t deny how good and right Loki’s tongue on hers felt in that moment. She had no explanation why she felt as if a weight was lifted off her soul. A weight that has been older than the effects of the Aether, and reached further back in time, to forgotten lives and memories. It felt very familiar to that moment when her lips touched Thor’s for the very first time, but it was still slightly different. Thor! Jane opened her eyes and broke the heated kiss panting and staring at Loki as she came to her senses, watching as his eyes cleared up too and the edge of his wet mouth curled upwards. He looked satisfied with himself, which triggered her anger once again. “Let me go, Loki” she asked coldly, but under the surface she was already beating herself up as she tried to finally break free.

“You look beautiful when you are angry, Jane Frost…” he whispered slightly hoarsely as he let her hands go and stepped back, reaching to his bleeding wound on his side. He smeared his blood on his fingertips, his smile getting wider “I like you like that” he looked up at her.

“Just… go. Now. Leave me alone!” she demanded and instead of a fight this time Loki nodded as he licked the blood off his fingers.

“Take a bath and change your clothes. You are starting to stink, little Midgardian…” he chuckled and disappeared before she could say anything.

Jane just slid down on the floor with her back against the wall and buried her face in her shaking hands, trying to calm her breathing. _What did just happen?_

 


	5. Part 4

**Part 4**

_“I'm prisoned, but believing._  
 _Twisting my delusions, best beware._  
 _My peace can be deceiving._  
 _I'm steady in the deep end of despair._  
 _So far away, from safe and sound…”_  
                                    (No Easy Way)

“I will not open a debate about this, father. You know well that I’d go after her to any realm. After this either she comes to live here in Asgard, or I go live in Midgard. I won’t lose her out of my sight ever again. I am in love with her” Thor stated frowning as he looked down at Odin, standing on one of the rebuilt balconies of the golden palace.

“Son…” the Allfather sighed using his one eye to examine the determination on Thor’s face. He was far from that reckless boy who was seeking a fight wherever he went.

“Father…” Thor softened his voice “Please… to me she is like mother was to you. I know it. I can feel it deep in my heart” he put a big hand on his wide chest.

Pain flashed in Odin’s old eye as he looked down at his son’s hand, thinking about his beloved Frigga, who was no more. “Son, you have a strong heart and strong hearts mean strong determination to achieve the desired goals and to make the good choices” he said calmly and turned back to the city to watch the still ongoing construction works, resting a hand on the balustrade. “I knew she was like that the first time she talked to me and looked at you. Despite the terrible losses her last visit caused I don’t blame her. She is different from the other Midgardians that one is clear to me, and I can see that your love is true” Odin turned back to Thor “She’s changed you and made you the man I am proud of today. Forgive my old self. Until now I was not aware of what I might lose. Your mother, the queen is gone forever and it reminded this old man on what is important and what gives you more power in this life. Love, son. That is the reason why I have decided to give you the choice to forge your own path with her. I only have two conditions.”

“What conditions, father?” Thor asked carefully, still somewhat surprised hearing his father’s words.

“First, I still want you to take your rightful place as the king of the nine realms. I am tired and old, son and I saw it in my dreams: to keep the peace we need a new beginning. You are strong and wise enough now to be that new beginning.”

Thor nodded after thinking about his words for a moment. “And what would be the second condition, father?”

“That you become the king of Asgard and live here with the choice of your heart, the Midgardian woman.”

“Thank you father for your trust. I will try not to disappoint you again. I will think this over and discuss it with Jane once I saved her” he said and smiled faintly as his father put his wrinkled hand on his shoulder.

Odin nodded too then turned towards Fandral who stepped out on the balcony and bowed.

“The preparations are done. Heimdall is ready to send us to Niflheim.”

“Thank you my friend, I’m coming” he said and nodded towards his father as he headed inside.

“Thor” Odin called his name and waited until his son turned back “This time I dare to say… may good fortune be on your side, son.”

“Thank you father. I shall return soon.”

Odin just watched him leave with worry in his heart for his son. A new darkness was rising, he could feel it in his old bones. He spoke the truth. Losing his beloved wife was another hard lesson of his long life, but he couldn’t blame the Midgardian woman for that. He couldn’t see the future clear but he knew that they were at the brink of a new beginning and he was hoping that he raised a wise successor to lead Asgard and the nine realms. Only that darkness worried him. He did not know much about it, but it was true that without darkness there wouldn’t be light. And the light will be protected with the help of his son. He had no doubt about that.

***

He was watching her form the bathroom door’s shadow, half of his body hidden behind the heavy wood. His eyes traveled down on the graceful line of her naked spine as she let her dirty clothes fall on the floor and she finally stepped into the steaming water, moaning softly. By now she must have been rather cold. This wasn’t her world and natural environment. Being the son of Laufey had its advantages when it came to cold. He didn’t know what it was in this mortal woman that grabbed his attention, but he was intrigued and found her exquisite. He knew himself well. He was getting obsessed with her and trying to make her want him too. Loki was never good with people and showing emotions – except anger and loathing.

He liked this mortal from the moment she slapped him hard in Asgard, looking at him angrily and accusingly with her dark-brown eyes. What a sick twist of fate was it that the first woman in centuries who managed to grab his attention was a mortal… and his brother’s lover. Oh how he hated even the idea when he’d heard about it for the first time. His mighty brother and a weak Midgardian… He felt disappointed, even cheated. What was Thor thinking? Was this his way to come back at him for all he’d said and done against him? Everything would’ve been so much easier if Thor was just a little bit more like him. He would’ve even considered ruling together with him. Despite how things have gotten out of hand, Loki has missed him even when he was rotting in his cell in the glorious Asgard. But no, Thor had to be the complete opposite of him and follow his hot head into countless meaningless battles, shining like a comet on the sky of the nine realms. And what happened to Loki while he was pursuing his shiny dreams, dragging him along? He slowly became his shadow… his dark opposite whom secretly – or not so secretly – everyone despised and could never understand or trust. And Thor was too blinded by fame and glory to notice these changes in him. Well, that didn’t really surprise Loki, he knew his brother has been always blind to many things. Like how deep but fragile the dark-haired man’s love for him was.

They might see the world from completely different angles, but somewhere their taste must be the same. He wanted Jane too. First he planned just to hurt her and make Thor feel miserable because of his betrayal, but now… Thing’s have changed the moment he met this woman in person. And it wasn’t just the Aether or its lasting side-effects. She was one of a kind. Special. And Loki liked special things – especially if those were in his possession. And he will possess her. Soon. The last few days made the cracks on her defense wider. She won’t be able to resist him much longer. That passionate kiss told everything to him. Although he had to admit that Jane wasn’t the only one who was affected by it. No matter how hard Loki tried to deny it, he felt something there too. A spark. A promise of something that he’d experienced only once before: with Thor.

It’s been a long while since the last time he desired female flesh like this and as he watched the soft curves of her body he knew he had to have hers – and not just to have another weapon against Thor, although he had to grin already from imagining the shock on the familiar face when he realizes it. No, something else was pulling him towards her. That spark he felt when they kissed. An unknown and ancient, animalistic power that fuelled his desire to touch and taste her, to be around Jane. What was she doing to him? What kind of witch was she?

Loki fisted his hand by his side, feeling the already healing wound she caused throb. He will have to be patient only for a little while longer until the thoughts of power that he’d put in her mind gets rooted and spread, altering her thoughts and opinion about him like the Aether or any kind of disease would do.

He thought back on the conversation with his ally. She asked if Loki though it was worth it to keep her there and put his energies in trying to change her. Was it? Loki believed it was. She was such a young and flexible mind. With some work, he believed, he could forge a new, a stronger person from Jane. Someone who’d suit her personality better. He already laid out his brilliant plan and was eager to take the next step in it to change the fate of the unsuspecting woman for good.


	6. Part 5

**Part 5**

_“You tried to tempt fate, be careful what you wish_  
 _I'll take you deeper and strip you of salvation_  
 _It's a crusade to bring you to your knees_  
 _It's what you wanted, your last manipulation…”_  
                                                       (Can’t Sleep, Can’t Breathe)

The tunnel of light was glowing in countless colors around them, the frosty airless substance of space forced out from their path to allow the travelers to breathe. The edges of Thor’s red cape over his warm and heavy armor were fluttering behind him from the speed they were traveling across space, and he tightened his grip around Mjölnir as he held it out in front of him. Although he was used to travel this way with the help of the Bifrost he felt as if it was taking forever for Heimdall to get them to Niflheim. Thor knew that they’d have to move around in the realm of ice and mist carefully and mostly undetected so he asked the Gatekeeper of Asgard to make them land a little further from the main city where he felt the blocking of his eye-sight. Thor believed it was the place where his brother was keeping Jane captive.

Once the bright light subsided around him and his loyal friends Thor could immediately feel the colder air, his breaths coming out in white clouds around his face. It wasn’t the friendliest realm, especially because he knew who the ruler of this kingdom was.

“Oohh I don’t like this…” Volstagg murmured under his moustache “I’m not so keen on making Hel angry.”

“Yes, she can be a real bitch when she shows her claws” Lady Sif nodded looking up as they started climbing an icy hill in the direction of the city lit by eerie blue lights.

“Believe me my friend, me neither, but she brought this on her head by conspiring with Loki” Thor said trying to calm his mind and heart. The worry and excitement to face the important task at hand made it a little difficult for him to think clear. He took a few deep breaths from the frosty air as they reached the top of the hill and looked at the misty landscape. The valleys of the rough land were hidden under the thick fog, but in the distance they could see the castle-like building on top of the highest mountain around, towering over the land with a sinister shadow that got partly swollen by the white mist.

He was hoping they weren’t too late. This would be a long and slow walk if they wanted to stay hidden from the empty eyes of the inhabitants and their enemy. Suddenly anger made him squeeze the hilt of his hammer tighter again, because he knew how terrifying this unknown place might have looked for Jane. Thor knew that she was a brave woman but this time he hoped that she didn’t do anything reckless. She wouldn’t last in the land of the mist for long where the souls of those ended up, who didn’t die in battle. He suddenly felt Lady Sif’s hand on his which made him look at her. He probably forgot about himself and his worry showed on his stubbly face.

“Let’s go, Thor. A path opened in the mist to the right. We don’t have much time” she whispered in the unusual silence of the land that was broken only by some crows in the distance. Probably sentinels of Hel.

He nodded and followed his friends in silence, the worry growing in his heart with every step. He had a bad feeling and usually his gut was right about such things. He wanted to close Jane in his arms as soon as possible, before Loki could do more harm to her than he already might have. Thor promised to himself as they were carefully ascending from the hill that he’d skin his brother alive if he lifted a finger at Jane. His emotions were boiling and he wanted to fly with Mjölnir right to the castle, but that wasn’t an option because his friends, who risked their lives for him once again, couldn’t fly like him. He’ll have to stick to them and be a bit more patient. Two or three days until they will get to the foot of the mountain. If they get lucky. Two or three more days for Jane in the grasp of the brother to whom he’d have given everything once.

***

“They are here…”

“I know. I can feel Thor’s desperation even from this distance…” Loki chuckled darkly, as he sat back in his chair, keeping his eyes on an oval mirror within a decorated frame. It wasn’t an ordinary mirror at that moment. With the help of his power he could spy on his captive.

“The guards and the troops are ready to fight” he heard the familiar voice of the tall woman, who had the same raven hair brushed out of her beautiful face, the eerie blue lights in the room glistening on her armor as she walked behind Loki and put her long and pale fingers on his shoulder. Her piercing green eyes looked into the mirror too and let him take her hand to kiss the back of it. “I can send out a few.”

“That is not necessary, Hel. Let them come and seek their deaths at the foot of the mountain then let the mist swallow their lifeless bodies while I take my time with her…” he grinned with sparkling green eyes.

“Wouldn’t it be more convenient to do that after we defeated your brother and his friends, father?” Hel asked raising an eyebrow.

“I take no chances with this. Triumph will be ours this time, but I have to make sure in case Thor somehow happens to make his way to her that he’d find a different Jane Foster… Now go and keep an eye on our unwelcomed guests. With this pace it will take a few days for them to get here” he ordered, keeping his eyes on the female in the mirror who just finished putting on the dress he’d left for her days ago.

“Yes, father” Hel nodded, a wicked grin creeping on her pale face and turned around just to disappear in the shadows.

It was time and Loki knew it. With the help of his daughter he’d be able to stall the Asgardians and get what he wanted.

***

“You look much better like this…” Loki smiled as he entered Jane’s room and watched the woman turn to him, quickly pulling her fingers back from her bottom-lip as she stopped staring at the spot on the wall where he’d pressed her against before. This made his smile get wider, but this time he didn’t comment on it. Moreover, now that he had her attention his expression changed serious and he offered a hand to her, keeping the other behind his back. “Now tell me, Jane Foster, do you wish to live as long as we do and leave your human weaknesses behind?”

She opened then closed her mouth, feeling her hands shake as she looked at the offered pale one. Yes, she’s been thinking about this since Loki left him alone after that unsettling kiss. She didn’t sleep much as she tried to examine the offer from every possible angle. It was true that her mortal life was like a blink of an eye for the Asgardians. So how could it work out between Thor and her after he came here for her? Because she just knew that he’d come sooner or later. Their relationship was doomed from the first moment because of her mortality. They haven’t really talked about this but Jane knew that even if they stayed together in Asgard or on Earth she’d grow old quickly while Thor would stay the same. His love would fade away just like her own life. Yes, they would have a few beautiful years, but what’d happen with Thor after her death? Jane just felt it that they belonged together and this way they could stay like that for much longer. But was she ready to take the offer and later watch everyone she knows wither? Her mother? Erik? Darcy? Even Ian? Would she see them again at all if Odin allowed her and Thor to live in their realm? She wasn’t sure and couldn’t know just yet. But one thing she knew: Loki was changing his mind faster than the worst weather and if she refused this seemingly generous offer then she’d probably miss her only chance to be able to defend herself against him. Jane knew him enough by now to realize he had a hidden motive behind it and saying yes would get him closer to success, but…

Jane wanted to shout at him for putting her into such a situation and making her decide over her fate like this! How could she make the right choice? What was the right choice here? She didn’t know what was right and wrong anymore. Since the Aether everything got grey, there was no absolute white or black anymore. She could see clearer and think more analytically, but at the same time it affected her judgement and thinking about some things. And that didn’t help either that Loki got into her head, and now she was longing for more. He tricked her good with triggering her deepest fears, insecurities and… desires, she had to give him that.

“I see you are still conflicted about the answer, dear Jane…” he said after a minute of silence “Oh I understand. This will change your world even more than it already did, but think about the advantages. You are a woman of thoughts, you must see the benefits in accepting my offer” he said softly and walked closer to her, knowing that this was his chance to persuade her. “Just think about what you could accomplish in your new life. I know you want it. It’s been so long that you were kept in the dark and handled like a weak child. Rise from the ashes and spread your wings with me, Jane. Become what you were meant to be” he whispered close to her lips “You don’t have to hide your desires from me. I understand them more than anyone else could. Take my hand and your wishes will come true.”

Jane held her breath back as something crossed her mind and finally slid her hand in his, glimpsing up in Loki’s green and eager eyes. This time his smile seemed gentle as he pulled her closer to him until their bodies touched. “You won’t be disappointed. I’ll make all your deepest desires come true” he said. She wanted to ask how, but he sealed her lips with a kiss and she forgot everything else. She gave up fighting with herself. He won.


	7. Part 6

**Part 6**

_“Creating chaos just to prove we're alive_  
 _Demolition of a delicate kind…”_  
                                  (State of Seduction)

Hel was watching the intruders through the three eyes of a crow that was circling high above the small group of warriors. It’d have been so easy to send her troops on them and entertain herself. Being the one who collects souls of the sick and dishonored in the nine realms could get boring after a while. She sometimes sought out a good fight or stirred up things like her father usually did. She could just as easily kill Odinson and his friends only to revive them, but she knew that would go against her father’s wishes. And when someone disobeyed her father, they had to pay the prize. Although Hel was a powerful and cruel woman, goddess of Niflheim, she too feared Loki’s anger that seemed to lack any limits.

But yet again, she was his father’s daughter and some mischief and entertainment wouldn’t hurt. Of course just to make sure that the rescue team was kept on alert and clear with the fact that they were noticed and being watched. The crow gave out a sound that was like hoarse laughing. The possessed animal dove under the mist, but its green glowing eyes made it easy for her to see perfectly in the thick fog. Hel made the bird croak when she reached the mouth of an icy cage. As the order echoed into the mountain, screech-like roars answered and the ground started to shake. The bird took to the air and flew to a frozen pine tree, landing on a snowy branch to watch the entertainment she longed for, knowing that this would buy some more time for her father to achieve his goals, even if only Loki understood those fully.

“We are being watched” Sif whispered looking around in the mist that limited their sight in the valley they had to cross and pass two high mountains on each side. It was the easiest way through. There was a frozen river on their left and a wall of icy rocks on the right. The air was nearly painfully cold to breathe in, but they all avoided thinking about such discomforts, their senses on alert.

“For a while now, yes” Fandral nodded in agreement, glimpsing behind them as they moved forward carefully, only the sounds of crushing ice and rocks under their feet could be heard in the deadly silence.

“The cowards are hiding like in Jötunheim. Let them come whenever they decide to show their faces” Thor snorted on his raspy voice.

His friends exchanged a look then followed their leader in silence. Soon the valley narrowed, bringing the natural stone walls closer to them. They had to step on the ice of the river to pass safely between the falling rocks and ice. They only took a few careful steps when they heard the screeching and cracking noises accompanied by some deep rumbling.

Thor narrowed his blue eyes, trying to see what lay ahead of them, but the mist was too much in the way. He was able to dodge a sharp piece of ice that came out of nowhere but obviously with a killing intent. His experienced friends reached for their weapons and dodged the attacks too. The ice-daggers suddenly stopped and then there was silence again, only their panting breaking it as they waited for another assault.

Then came a screeching roar and a huge creature of ice emerged from the mist with sharp ice-fingers and vacant holes as its eyes and open mouth. It lounged faster at Thor than it was expected. It let its ice-claws suddenly grow longer to pierce them through the demigod, but he was faster with Mjölnir and smashed the hand, making the creature screech painfully loud, but it came at him again, growing out its hand. Thor made sure to hit it with his magical hammer under the chin to smash it into pieces. The ice-creature shattered as it landed on the ice underneath them and disappeared from sight. But it wasn’t alone. As Thor forced his eyes to see he saw and heard his friends fighting with the huge frost creatures too.

“Thor, we cannot see much. Some help would be appreciated!” he heard Volstagg’s voice and the blond man already knew what to do. He raised his hammer over his head and started swirling it in a circle as he collected its power to make a smaller tornado, the swirling air around them taking the mist with it and soon clearing out the whole valley, just to reveal to them that the surface of the frozen river was full of the same enemy.

“This will be fun…” Fandral chimed in as he destroyed his attacker too and watched as Thor let Mjölnir collect some lightning to strike several of their enemies in the chest, making them explode.

“And there goes our cover…” Sif mumbled under her nose with irony in her voice, but they didn’t have much time to agree with her as another wave of attack came from the huge frost creatures.

Hel watched the unfolding fight through the crow’s glowing eyes, feeling amused. She felt nothing seeing her soldiers fall one after the other, but laughed when they started to reassemble themselves around the fighting warriors. They could do that countless times so there was no use in what they were doing. But she knew it’d slow and tire them, which was exactly her purpose. She longed to fight them too, but she knew that she’d have a chance for that later when she let them reach under the castle as her father wished. Until that she was sizing up their fighting techniques and was already planning on how to play with them next.

***

_“A sudden spark ignites_   
_A sea of diamonds_   
_And from the dark a light_   
_Breaks the silence_   
_We made a tear in time_   
_With love like lions_   
_A simple spark  
Ignites_

_In this time_  
 _In this moment_  
 _We could crash together_  
 _I come alive_  
 _In slow motion_  
 _Make it lost forever_  
 _I come alive_  
  
 _Release…”_  
               (Feel like falling)

Jane heard the distant thunder while still in Loki’s long arms which were wrapped around her tightly, pressing her shaking body against his as the heated kiss slowed down, leaving her breathless and flushed. She could see in Loki’s emerald eyes that he knew he’d won. This picked her anger for a second, but she suppressed it since she was still under his spell.

“What should I do?” Jane asked on a shaky voice as she kept the eye-contact. She felt like being hypnotized by a dangerous snake and she… liked it. By now she liked the lurking danger behind the lines of Loki’s pale face. He pulled back a little and let her go with one hand, keeping the other on the small of her back. He lifted his free hand and made a golden apple appear between the long fingers from thin air.

“You only have to eat from this special apple. Its magic will do the rest” he murmured surprisingly gently.

Jane glimpsed up at him then she reached out for the fruit, hesitating only for a second before taking it from him. It felt much heavier than an average apple. “What is this?” she wanted to know while examining it from close.

“One of Iðunn’s apples I kept to myself after a brief encounter with her” he chuckled looking down at the woman, who still looked confused “And here I thought you’d dip into the human stories of northern mythology to get more information about us…” Loki shook his head with a lopsided grin, which earned him a punch in the arm and a dark look from Jane. It only made him laugh then he shrugged “It’s a piece of special food for the Asgardians, allowing them to prolong their lives. The source of their immortality, if you like. Once you had your fill from the apples, you don’t really have to eat more from them to live long. We had our fill of them in our youth with my brother…” he let his eyes wander to the apple as he got lost in his thoughts for a second, but quickly pulled himself together and met Jane’s curious brown eyes.

“What will it do to me?”

“Change you, of course” he smiled and ran the back of his hand down on her still flushed face, thinking that the color suited her, but he banished the thought nearly right away. “Your humanity. Replacing it with power. To be honest it’s a quite tasty fruit. Come” he said and took her free hand to pull her to the bed where they sat down on its edge.

Jane was staring at the golden apple of immortality in her hand for a long minute and to her surprise Loki didn’t push her just sat there in silence, keeping those intense eyes on her. She could feel it. This was it. Now or never. She took a deep breath to calm her crazy heartbeats then she lifted the fruit to her lips and bit in it. It was slightly harder to do so than with a normal apple, but its taste was much more delicious. It was nearly too sweet as its juice spread on her tongue and she started chewing on the bite. She felt a warmth spread in her once she swallowed it and when she looked at Loki questioningly he just nodded to eat more. It was nothing like anything else she’d eaten before. She was only at the half of the apple when she already felt herself full in the meaning that she knew she’d be able to feel perfectly sated even if she didn’t eat for days from now. She stared at the glowing apple and realized that it was glowing because of her own hand. She felt the magic spread in her more and she gasped for air as it made her eye-sight blurry. She closed them and felt the fruit slipping out from her fingers, rolling further away on the cold stone floor. She was prepared for excruciating pain, but nothing like that happened.

She opened her eyes and lifted her hands in front of her, staring at them as they glowed in a golden light. It quickly faded away, leaving strength, vitality and youth behind as it slowed down time for her cells. She let the warm feeling spread inside her with closed eyes and she couldn’t stop herself from giggling. It was nearly as if she got drunk or high on the apple’s magic. She threw herself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, still giggling as the warmth spread fully in her body, carried by her strongly beating heart.

Loki watched her with a smile on his pale face. He remembered how similar he felt when he used to eat these fruits. Not everyone could get as much as his royal family, but as teens it was one of their favorite mischiefs to stole such apples with Thor and eat them together and then…

“How are you feeling?” he leaned over Jane, examining her.

“Amazing! So… happy and strong… and high!” she giggled and reached up to pull Loki down to her, kissing his lips not caring about the consequences at that moment. She was still too dare-devil not to exploit the moment.

He didn’t resist though as he chuckled shortly into her kiss that was so similar to his brother’s when under the influence of the apples their teenage selves did unspeakable, but pleasurable things to each other. Just like he was about to do to Jane now. He lay on top of her and deepened the kiss, feeling how she was shaking underneath him and how warmer she got for now. Breaking the kiss he leaned to her ear and whispered something into it, which made Jane moan and nod.

“Yes… I want you too…” she faltered out, feeling like someone who’d see clear for the first time. Someone who just awoke from a long and hazy dream. For the first time she saw Loki without being blinded by her hate for him. Now she saw everything when she looked into the glowing green eyes. It was similar to when the Aether showed her things, but while back then she saw the darkness in Thor’s younger brother, now she saw the light too. And his hidden desire for her. She didn’t know what to say, so instead she kissed him hard, wanting to ease his loneliness, to warm up his cold body as she started undressing him, but her shaking fingers got lost in the countless straps of his armor so he helped. She sat up and opened the borrowed warm clothes too, not letting Loki’s eyes go. Maybe it was the effect of the apple but to Jane now Loki looked open enough to let her see that lust and need in him to belong.

She soon found herself lying naked under his cooler body – skin on skin, breath on breath. Jane got turned on so badly that her opened thighs started shaking as Loki greedily sucked and kissed on her bare breasts, making her cry out with joy and heated longing – especially when his long fingers found her sensitive spot between her legs to rub it. She’d have never thought that once she’d beg to Loki for more. He blew all of her resistance away and she also suppressed the prick of guilt in her when Thor came into her mind for a split second. Now her heightened senses were focused on the younger brother and that cunning silver tongue that darted out to taste her sweet juices with a moan. She found herself fisting a hand in Loki’s long hair as he worked on her, making the room spin. Her other hand traced the thin scar on his side that her knife caused then her hungry body welcomed the long hardness with a loud moan.

Jane slid her hand on the lean man’s nape and pulled him down for another passionate kiss, feeling their hips meet as she bucked hers towards him to give shelter to him in her own body, making them both moan into the kiss. They moved in perfect harmony, taking and giving what the other needed. This somewhere surprised Jane, she thought he’d be more selfish, but as she looked deep into Loki’s eyes, she saw that he wanted to please her just as much as she did. In the back of her mind this confused her, but at the moment everything felt perfect and right, as if it was bound to happen sooner or later. Nearing their release she panted on Loki’s lips and put her long legs tighter around him, the sounds that their mating bodies made exciting her more. But at that moment she was lost in the depths of his eyes. She could nearly feel how desperately he needed the affection, the stolen love she was giving to him. She could see the countless lonely nights, the misunderstandings, how hard it was for him to open up even to Thor and without pitying him… she just understood everything about him in the moment their bodies arched and reached that overwhelming point from where they both spiraled down into the blinding light, holding onto each other as if only the other could save them.


	8. Part 7

**Part 7**

_“You’ll never know what hit you_   
_Won’t see me closing in_   
_I’m gonna make you suffer_   
_This hell you put me in_   
_I’m underneath your skin_   
_The devil within_

_I tried to be the lover to your nightmare_  
 _Look what you made of me_  
 _Now I’m a heavy burden that you can’t bear…”_  
                                                  (The Devil Within)

Thor knocked another frost giant into million pieces when he felt the urge to look into the direction of the castle. He could feel it that something was happening there. Something big. His heart started beating fast as Jane came into his mind and anger flooded his mind as he saw still many of the giants approaching them. He directed Mjölnir towards the grey skies again and his anger amplified the weapon’s power, making loud thunders roar over the land as the flashes of lightning got collected until they heated up, his eyes a glowing blue as he swung his hammer and let them strike the frost creatures, jumping from one to the other, shattering and melting them.

“This is our chance! Follow me!” he yelled behind him to his friends and started running, letting his hammer fly out of his hand to keep their path open. The ice was slippery and started cracking under them as they ran.

Volstagg glimpsed behind them and saw some of the ice giants fall into the cracks, cold water splashing out around them. “Faster, lads! The ice is cracking open over the river!” he yelled and caught up with Lady Sif and Fandral while Thor made sure the path was kept clear. Soon they’ll be able to leave the ice of the river, they just had to pass the narrowest part between the mountains.

Hel made the crow spread its wings and fly off the pine tree, getting higher as she followed the warriors. Thor’s little power display made her smile. She thought he wasn’t bad, but brute strength wasn’t always enough to win. She watched them pass that narrow and critical part between the mountains and she croaked to make her giants fall back while her physical body back in the castle was visited by one of her father’s illusions telling her to let them get closer. From that she knew he’d succeeded and was probably lying with that human bitch. For a while she watched the still running warriors underneath, getting into a thin pine forest. She let them alone for now and pulled her power back from the crow just to watch her father’s copy self dissolve in the usual golden-green light, leaving her smiling darkly in the solitude of her room.

Thor and his friends were slightly out of breath as they reached the trees and saw that the ice-creatures fell back. They stopped for a few minutes to catch their breaths.

“What did just happen?” Volstagg panted.

“My brother is playing with us…” Thor grunted still holding Mjölnir in his hand, scanning their surroundings to avoid another attack.

“He probably wants to hold us up to… do whatever he planned” Lady Sif agreed watching Thor worried.

“We have to get going. I have a very bad feeling” Thor murmured, his clear blue eyes glued to the direction of the castle, seeing its top from where they were standing now. “We are wasting time with fighting these creatures.”

“What bad feeling?” Fandral asked as he ran his glove-covered fingers through his fair hair and straightened up, ready to follow their future king.

“It is about Jane. I don’t know what, but something’s happening to her. Or did. I can feel it in my bones” Thor sighed, worry gripping his heart firmer. “We have to move quicker. We are already discovered and being watched so it doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t seem that Hel and Loki wants to start a war. Or not yet at least. Let’s go” he said seeing that his friends weren’t harmed in the previous attack. They followed him in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts while watching their surroundings.

***

 _“Midnight confessions keep on blurring the line_  
 _Say you're here on my side_  
 _Want you here on my side_  
 _You keep my heart under the cover of night_  
 _Could be the devil in a clever disguise_  
 _Temptation leads us…”_  
                              (State of Seduction)

Loki was watching Jane sleeping on her stomach still naked next to him. He was lying on his side and ran his fingertips down the graceful curve of her spine. Her skin was insanely soft and similarly warm to the touch like Thor’s. He didn’t regret yet that he let her see this much of him during their minutes of passion. He got what he wanted: her body and soul. He managed to change her, to maybe even tame her a little, although he liked the fierce fire in her as she defied him. It always made him smile. He had an idiotic grin on his face at that moment too, but he didn’t stop it. He felt somewhat light-headed and very satisfied. He couldn’t wait to hurt Thor with his latest achievement. Although… a small voice in the back of his head told him that he shouldn’t ruin what he just shared with Jane.

As he watched the brunette sleeping peacefully next to him he felt her getting stronger from the power of the golden apple, shredding the remains of her human weaknesses. Loki rarely let such thoughts cross his mind like what he was thinking about at that moment. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining how different their life could be if Jane stayed on his side instead of his brother’s. Was that even possible? Would she really accept him the way he was like he saw it in her eyes in the second they reached their release? Or was that just a clever lie? He wouldn’t be surprised about that. He wasn’t someone to be trusted. Not after everything that had been done against him in Asgard. All the treachery – first from the Allfather who only wanted to use him to unite Asgard and Jötunheim, her “mother” hiding the truth from him, his “friends” helping Thor to depose him from his rightful throne and then his own brother defiling what they had by falling in love with a mortal woman… Albeit, he now knew that she was no ordinary Midgardian – and she’ll never be one from now on.

He let his fingers stroke out a lock of her hair from her face, just enjoying the peaceful moments that he allows to himself very rarely. Loki still couldn’t decide what role Jane might have in his life. Maybe she was destined to be the link between darkness and light – him and his brother… It’d make sense since both of them were attracted to her and it seemed she felt the same way now towards the brothers too. Loki wondered if everything else were put aside – the fighting, him being pursued and his ambitions of becoming the king of Asgard – would it be possible for Loki with her help to get close to Thor like in the old days? Would she accept the nature of their relationship or would she feel disgusted? If she knew that he and his brother were lovers for long years…

Loki could still remember the first kiss and night they shared with Thor as teens. In human terms the mischievous boy was seventeen, Thor a couple of years older, but already the ladies’ favorite. By that time Loki longed his touch for years, but didn’t dare to make any ambiguous gestures. First he thought he was sick and loathed himself for having such unclean thoughts about his own brother. So he just watched him feast and drink when the warriors of the realm came back to celebrate their victories. Thor promised Loki that one day they’d be just like them. Drinking and fucking women all night. His younger brother made a face hearing that and let his brother go hunt down some girls, making him send jealous looks across the great hall where the celebration was held. They won some war so it was a big one. Loki thought it’d be the same like always: losing sight of his drunken brother quickly in order to receive some other kind of pleasure too. As Odin’s sons they were always surrounded by women, but Loki soon made it clear to them that he didn’t want their company. He preferred to be left alone with his thoughts and stayed silent, observing their friends and the others. As those nights moved along and everyone got drunk and uninhibited he thought of them as animals, nothing better than the enemy they just defeated.

That night was somehow different though. Thor hasn’t disappeared as expected, although drank a few with his friends and flashed his warm smile at them that could always melt the ice around Loki’s heart a little. He even got sneaky and got some drinks for Loki too, promising that their father wouldn’t know about it. The younger brother drank slowly and soon excused himself as the heavy smell of drinks and sweaty bodies got too much for him. He never liked big crowds anyway. Too many people to keep his eyes on. He slipped through the crowd and went to the balcony of his own room that was next to Thor’s since he was a baby. The cool night air helped him clear his head and when he looked down he saw that he was still holding his jug. First he wanted to pour the rest of his drink down from the balcony but after all he drank it all. As he went back into his room to get ready for bed he was thinking about how things were changing between him and Thor. How he felt their differences more and more with each passing day as he tried to keep his distance from him because of his dark desires. He was sure Thor had noticed that too, because he spent less time with him and more with his friends and women. The only thing that amused Loki in this was Sif’s face when he saw her watch Thor sneaking away with the actual girls. What was it in Thor that made everyone love him? His smile? His blue eyes and deep voice? To Loki he was like a sun, radiating warmth and light from the inside. He missed his sun. He missed those evenings when they just cuddled as kids and read stories to each other. When he was near he could always ease up that inexplicable darkness in Loki’s soul.

He sighed shaking his head. These were the thoughts of a dreamer. He never thought about himself as one. He was much more rational and calculating than that. And yet he couldn’t make his desires disappear, he only managed to suppress them as best as he could. While lying in bed wearing his sleeping pants and a richly decorated emerald robe, he was thinking about how he was supposed to act normal around Thor again with such feelings, but couldn’t get an answer, because there was a knock on the door and in the next moment Thor burst into the room in his usual way. He kicked the door shut behind him, holding two jugs of the strong ale they’ve been drinking that night.

“What do you want, Thor? Your girlfriends abandoned you?” he asked a little irritated.

“No brother, I bid them good night without my company. Here, I brought you one more” he dropped down on the bed next to his brother and pushed one in Loki’s hand. The whole bed shook from Thor’s sudden move and even Loki’s book fell on the floor as he tried not to spill the ale.

“I don’t want it.”

“Drink it.”

“No” he glared at Thor nearly pouting while fighting with his conflicting emotions.

“Drink brother or I’ll make you drink!” Thor growled on his deep voice, sending a shiver down Loki’s spine and after a sigh he started drinking. He knew he had no other choice if he wanted to keep his bed dry.

“Good boy!” Thor grinned satisfied with his achievement and he drank half of his ale too.

Loki only raised a brow from the comment and snorted. “So will your small brain give me an answer to the ‘what are you doing here’ question?”

Thor ignored the cynical tone his brother used and just watched him for a long moment over the rim of his jug. “I wanted to spend some more time with you. I miss you, brother” he murmured softer than Loki expected and quickly drank the rest of his drink, putting the jug on the nightstand without looking.

Loki couldn’t say anything clever this time because of the lights in Thor’s eyes that cleared up from the haze of the drinks he had had in them earlier. The thinner boy sighed and looked aside, busying himself with drinking the rest of his ale too. The silence was meaningful between them and lasted for a couple of long minutes. The look they exchanged confused Loki even more. He felt the control slipping from his hand, which he never liked. He felt the alcohol start to work in his system and he nearly missed the nightstand on his side as he put down his jug. When he turned back Thor was closer to him, nearly making him jump.

“Why are you avoiding me, brother?”

“I am not…” he started but was cut off.

“Don’t lie. Not this time. I want to know why you are keeping yourself from my company and lock yourself up” he looked in his eyes worried.

Loki shook his head “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. I love you, Loki. You are my brother. We’ve always been so close and I miss that” he reached out to stroke Loki’s lightly flushed face and when he tried to pull it away he didn’t let him do so. “Look at me, Loki…” he whispered and his younger brother had no other choice “I think I know…”

Loki rounded his green eyes and anger flickered in them. “You know nothing, Thor. Get out! I want to be alone now. Go run after some skirts and leave me alone!”

“No!” he said moving closer to make him look back at him, but Loki tried to break free. In the next moment Thor was laying on top of him, like he so often did as children when they were wrestling. But it was different now – both of them could feel it. “I know… I know because… I feel the same…” he panted hoarsely and before Loki could say anything, he felt his brother’s lips on his own.


	9. Part 8

**Part 8**

_“I'm scared 'cause the past_  
 _Keeps pulling me back_  
 _Distorting the future_  
 _It's holding me close_  
 _It loves me the most_  
 _It's tearing the sutures…”_  
                         (The Razor’s Edge)  


Thor was getting irritated that they couldn’t find a way to move faster in this damned and bare land. He terribly wanted to go ahead with the help of Mjölnir, but he just couldn’t leave his friends behind. He saw on them that they tried to move as fast as they could without tiring themselves too much. They will need their strength when facing their enemies. They couldn’t know yet what Loki has cooked up this time and also Thor knew that being cautious was essential if they wanted to survive this adventure too.

In deadly silence they left the lifeless pine forest behind and approached a smaller village that looked deserted, but they knew that the souls of the departed were around, probably hiding after seeing the lightning and hearing the distant noises of the fight. These were no warrior souls. Men and women who died in battle were taken to Valhalla to feast and celebrate until the end of days, Ragnarök came. It was unlikely that these souls would attack them, but they could never know what Loki’s daughter, Hel has been doing in her own realm during all these years. This is why they forced their eyes to see better in the thickening fog as they tried to go around the town at its edge, looking for something that could make it easier for them to get to the castle. So far fortune didn’t favor them.

The thicker the fog grew, the darker Thor’s thoughts got. He knew his brother well, he knew that for a while now Loki was capable of doing anything to achieve his goals and the feeling Thor got from the direction of the castle was alarming to the demigod. What if his brother fulfilled what he indicated while unleashing the power of the Bifrost to destroy Jötunheim? “Well maybe, when we are finished here, I'll pay her a visit myself!” Thor could still clearly hear those words in his head before he had enough and started fighting Loki. That threat didn’t sound so idle now that Loki got Jane. All kind of possible scenarios ran through Thor’s head, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to guess what his little brother’s plan was with her. Probably he’ll present the most unexpected scenario Thor could think of. Loki has always been cleverer than him. Loki was the brain and Thor the muscle. A very good combination until they both had the same goals. But when the brain turns against the muscle…

Thor still wasn’t sure he understood fully what made his brother change and lose control this much. The years spent in love and peace didn’t mean anything to Loki after all? That possibility hurt the older brother deeply, because he loved Loki the most despite his difficult personality too. Yes, he was always different and somehow “darker” than most of them, but Thor would’ve never thought that he’d turn against them like this. This was beyond all mischief and reason. This was cruel and evil. Treason. Not just against Asgard but him too. Thor wondered if Loki always sensed that he wasn’t one of them and their father’s confession just confirmed those worries. Thor never really had the chance to ask this, because Loki refused to go home with him and once he got captured he didn’t have the time to visit him, because he was trying to clean up the mess his brother made. And maybe because he was too afraid to face him and hear what he had to say.

He just hated how far apart they’ve got and that they kept drifting apart with every decision they made. Why did Thor see hate in those familiar green eyes when once, on dark nights, there used to be only love there? And even before that when they were only kids and Loki looked up at him in awe, making Thor feel like a hero, making him want to become stronger and better in fighting to be able to protect his little brother… Yes, for a very long time Loki was Thor’s real reason to be good, for wanting to become a better version of himself. He and his love inspired him deep down, but all the disappointment and hurt Loki caused to him, their family and realm made Thor wonder if there was anything left from that love.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard his friends draw out their weapons and warn him. He looked ahead and saw a dark figure in the swirling mist not far from them. The outlines were slightly blurry and when the fog cleared up around the small figure Thor’s blue eyes widened. He looked as if he saw a ghost – well technically that was exactly the case. The spirit of a seven or nine years old boy was standing there in the shadows wearing simple clothes that made it obvious that he’s been dead for a few centuries now. In Thor’s eyes he looked a lot like Loki as a child with the raven hair and the big eyes that seemed hollow and sad at the same time. He gave off a strange vibe that made his friends feel uneasy, but he didn’t move or try to hurt them so Thor lowered his hammer.

“What do you want with us, child?” he asked on his low voice.

The child didn’t say anything just waved for them to follow and took a few steps towards the edge of the village.

“I don’t like this, Thor. It might be another trap” Fandral whispered in the silence while the child stopped and waited for them.

“I have to agree. Maybe we should ignore him and continue our way to the castle” Lady Sif nodded.

Thor glimpsed at them then looked back at the waiting child, some old and happier memories flashing in front of his eyes. “He might want to help us. Good souls wander these villages too” he said carefully taking a step towards the slightly transparent spirit. Of course he didn’t trust the boy either but there was only one way to find out what he wanted.

“Thor…” Volstagg started too but they followed him nonetheless.

“I know, my friends, but this is our only chance to find a faster route to the castle” he murmured keeping his eyes on the boy who kept the distance between them while leading them towards the edge of the town, but instead of walking between the houses he followed a path behind the houses and barren back gardens.

No one was in sight as the fog thickened once more, making Thor and his friends follow the ghost child faster not to lose him from their sight. In a few silent minutes they arrived to the side of a smaller hill. There was an entrance that looked as if it belonged to an abandoned mine. The friends exchanged some unsure looks but after all followed the child that seemed to glow somewhat in a bluish light as he walked noiselessly in front of them. The tunnel wasn’t that dark, the blue light of torches came from just around the next curve. Following the path of those strange torches they went deeper under the hill until the boy stopped pointing ahead as he looked up into Thor’s eyes.

“What is there?” he asked and carefully got closer to check around the corner when the child refused to speak. The tunnel opened up there, turning into a tall and wide cave of ice and rocks. The eerie blue lights of the stones and some other torches glistening on the ice stalagmites and stalactites all around. It was a breathtaking and dangerous sight. Thor heard his friends come closer and he looked down next to him when he heard the slightly creepy voice of the ghost child whisper around them, but he didn’t move his mouth as he talked.

“Follow the torches and you will find yourselves near the castle faster and hidden from curious eyes.”

Thor shivered lightly from the way he spoke but didn’t show it just watched him put a pale finger against his closed lips. “Don’t wake the dead…” he added and vanished from sight. The blond man looked back at his friends who looked just as serious as he did.

“I don’t like this. This child gave me shivers” Lady Sif mumbled under her nose.

“Yes, but we don’t have a lot of options. We either go on the surface blinded by the mist or follow this path and get to our destination faster and more hidden.”

“I have a bad feeling about this, but I vote for this route” Volstagg sighed and stroked his copper beard as the others nodded in agreement.

Thor turned around and squeezed the hilt of Mjölnir tighter, the hollow brown eyes and the raven hair of the child haunting him as they continued their journey.


	10. Part 9

**Part 9**

_“Just close your eyes_   
_Everything's gonna be just fine_   
_You can peek on the other side_

_Say you'll keep still, as still as can be_  
 _Don't get caught in the chaos surrounding us_  
 _Trust that we're coming out clean_  
 _Cause I'm on your side, it's still you and me…”_  
                                      (Close Your Eyes)

Loki just couldn’t believe it. Was he serious? Was he mocking him? Was he too drunk to know what he was doing?! It couldn’t be. He couldn’t feel the same way about him, he thought, but yet he succumbed and melted into the kiss.

“What are you doing? You are drunk…” Loki panted, more color showing on his cheekbones as Thor’s weight literally pressed him into the bed.

“No, brother. I only drank tonight to be brave enough to kiss you. I was meaning to do this for a while now and I know you felt the same. I know you better than anyone, Loki…” he whispered and caressed his face with a big hand, its warmth making Loki sigh with relief. So he wasn’t sick after all? Or both of them were… Though he was still fighting with himself to dare to believe him.

“This isn’t a prank to return my last one, is it?” he asked suspiciously.

“No. Loki… I want you” he murmured and his deep voice was hoarse with lust. “It is alright if you want me too” he kissed into his brother’s neck and Loki felt his heart pounding so fast and loud that he was sure Thor could feel it too through his own chest.

“I… yes…” he was able to whisper only this, already feeling dizzy from the happiness that his feelings weren’t one-sided. He opened up slowly, half-expecting that their friends would come into the room any minute to laugh at Loki for being fooled good this time… but deep in his heart he knew Thor wouldn’t be able to do that to him. He was different, not like him.

His hands were unsure and slightly shaking at first as he touched Thor’s blond locks, closing his eyes from the downward kisses on his neck and chest. He was already growing hard in his silk pants, his body burning for his brother’s touches and kisses after being buried deep for so long. He was the only person to whom Loki dared to show his true colors, his true emotions. It’s been always like that and Thor never made him regret doing so. Loki sometimes wondered from where so much goodness could come. Of course Thor could get arrogant and act like a complete show-off, but besides his flaws he was always good to his brother. He always cared for Loki, who needed that more than he showed.

And now it seemed he’d be willing to fulfill his darkest desire too. From that moment he knew that – no matter what might happen – his relationship with Thor would always be special. Loki couldn’t really remember how their clothes landed on the floor, he only remembered the nearly unbearable heat as their naked bodies entwined for the first time, but with such ease that he just knew deep down that it couldn’t be the very first time. Probably in a previous lifetime they had been together already and their muscles remembered how to complete each other. He didn’t know if Thor had other male lovers before, but he didn’t even care. In that moment he made Loki his and that was all that counted for him as he welcomed the new sensations, that made him want to explode all over him in each and every second, but he held back and just admired the already muscular body moving over him with care, making sure he wasn’t hurting Loki too much. He wouldn’t have cared even if he did. As long as Thor was there with him and Loki could be truly himself around him again.

Later that night after their bodies were satisfied and they were just breathing in each others’ arms Loki was lying there wide awake for the first time in his life. He didn’t care that what they did would be considered as a sin if it turned out. He only focused on trying to stay open and enjoy those special moments as long as he could. He couldn’t know back then if there would be another occasion, if his brother wouldn’t change his mind the following day. But he didn’t and that night became the first of many during which their relationship got deeper and more complicated than ever before.

The present Loki sat up in bed, glimpsing at Jane once more before getting up and started to put on his clothes. He didn’t know why he had these flashbacks right now, but for a few moments – before he closed up yet again – he felt sorry that things have changed radically since those years. Sometimes he still dreamt of his brother, sometimes he still desired him that way. But as things were at that moment, getting that close to Thor again wasn’t going to happen soon. Well, maybe this was another thing from his past that he had to let go in order to reach his goals. Goals to which he just got closer. He ran his cool hand along Jane’s back once more, already fully dressed, then melted back into the shadows to check on his daughter and how things were with their visitors. He also had a war to plan. 

***

 _“_ _Hear your thunder calling,_  
 _from a distant sky_  
 _Wanna feel I've known this,_  
 _for 1000 lives_  
 _When the heavens falling,_  
 _And I see the light_  
 _Taken from my slumber,_  
 _From a dream I've died_  
 _Bring me back to life_  
  
 _Every time I look in your eyes_  
 _I see lightning_  
 _Cover me when there's nowhere to hide_  
 _You come crashing…”_  
                    (Come Crashing)

Jane waited until Loki wasn’t around anymore and opened her eyes. His touch was still lingering on her back, making her confusion worse. She could think better now and realized what they’d done. The one thing she swore to herself she wouldn’t do to Thor. What the hell got into her?! Of course it was… very good, but… How was she supposed to face Thor… and herself in the mirror after this?

She rather sat up, still smelling Loki on her skin, but she tried to ignore it as she lifted her hands in front of her to look at them. They seemed normal now, the golden glow was gone but as Jane paid more attention to her body she felt less cold and stronger than before, not to mention that the back of her head, where she hit it at home, wasn’t throbbing anymore. Now that she found her scientist self too she decided to test herself. She quickly got dressed into the warm clothes she got from Loki and walked to one of the heavy-looking dark wooden chairs that she could barely move previously. She took a deep breath and tried to lift it. It went surprisingly easily. She could barely feel its weight now, which made her eyes round. So Loki was telling the truth and he really made her stronger. Until now she had her doubts because he liked his tricks more than anything… but now she had her proof. She took a few deep breaths staring at her hands again. So from now on she won’t age like humans… She became something more, just like she wanted. To be honest, she didn’t understand why Loki gave this power to her, but she’ll use them to escape, like she planned since the moment she took his hand…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of thunder but this time it came from very close and in an unnatural way. She looked towards the window then ran to it to check the valley below, her hearth throbbing in her throat, but the mist made it difficult to see. Still one name was echoing in her mind: Thor. She strained her eyes and she realized that she could see a bit better too. She saw the fog glow in the cold lights of repeated thunders then it started to swirl and she managed to take a glimpse of the man who was standing in the middle of the widening clear spot. Despite the sting of guilt Jane smiled relieved and felt that certain warmth spread in her which she always felt when she set her eyes on Thor. He came for her after all! This was the chance she was waiting for.

She quickly and noiselessly went to the door – even walking felt easier to her after the transformation – and pressed her ear against the dark wood. She couldn’t hear anything so she carefully opened the heavy door to peek outside. She could see no one around so she snuck out of the room where she’s been kept since she was kidnapped. She was surprised that there weren’t any guards and wondered if she could have made her escape earlier… before the mistake was done. But there was no point in thinking about that anymore. Now she had to concentrate on the task at hand: escaping. She knew she had to get to Thor and the others to make it possible for Heimdall to take them back home. She already figured out that Loki found a way to cloak her presence and probably the Gatekeeper couldn’t see her.

Carefully making her way down a few corridors she felt the temperature dropping rapidly. She suspected hers was one of the heated rooms of the castle-like building. It was actually an amazing place with its dark and icy walls lit by some kind of eerie blue lights. It was just too cold for her taste. Lifeless even. She couldn’t see anyone around on the corridors either. Were all the guards fighting in the valley or waiting at their posts? Jane had no time to muse on that either. She had to find her way out of this labyrinth as soon as possible. Suddenly her eyes caught movement at the end of the corridor. She stopped and tried to hide in a darker hollow of the wall. After a few seconds she carefully took a peek and she saw the outlines of a little boy standing in the middle of the corridor close to the corner. Jane blinked a few times to make sure she saw it right, because he was quite transparent. Maybe it was just because of the light. The next time she blinked the boy disappeared. She frowned but then froze as she felt that she was being watched. Turning to the side and down Jane suddenly looked into the raven boy’s hollow brownish eyes. She felt her heart suddenly beating in her throat. She was right: the boy was a ghost or something. She tried not to freak out as it stared at her creepily. She scolded herself for still feeling surprised after all that she’s been through.

“Hi… I’m Jane… err… who are you?” she asked after swallowing hard.

The boy didn’t say anything just stared at her and lifted a small hand, pointing to the direction he just came from. Jane understood the gesture and nodded.

“You know a way out of here?”

The boy nodded and started kind of walking – it seemed that his feet touched the ground but of course it made no sound – and only after a little hesitation Jane followed him. He sped up so Jane had to as well. Soon her new guide was leading her down the stairs and across cold and empty halls. She didn’t realize the place was this huge. As they were crossing a smaller hall she heard the fighting from closer. That made her heart pound faster. She had to get outside and it seemed the boy was leading her to the right direction.


	11. Part 10

**Part 10**

_“You try to change, but can't escape_  
 _When it all goes down_  
 _Who's going to come to set you straight?_  
  
 _Who's got your heart?_  
 _Who showed the way, the minute stop_  
 _We'll find you, unbind you?_  
 _Who's got your soul?_  
 _Who took it out of your control?_  
 _Who saved you, enslaved you?”_  
                        (Set You Straight)

The silence of the icy cave was deafening after a while, but the warriors took the advice of the mysterious boy and didn’t say a word just followed the lights as instructed. It turned out that it was a labyrinth of caves and tunnels under the surface. Thor couldn’t decide what the purpose of the place was, but it really made it easier and quicker for them to get to the castle undetected, and he made sure they moved as fast as they could. In a couple of hours they could take a glimpse of natural light as the tunnel turned and ended opposite the mountain where their destination lay. To their surprise there was no problem along the road, they successfully let the dead sleep – whatever that meant. But now the time to plan and act was at hand. The friends stayed hidden from sight while they discussed how they’d free Jane and leave this place as fast as they could.

Leaving the shelter they had in the cave they moved as fast as they could but soon encountered the enemy that tried to hinder them. The fight began and they could feel themselves in their element once again as they fought themselves through the dozens of guards in black armor. But they weren’t ordinary guards. Underneath the armor they were half ghost, half skeleton. Not an easy sight for the eye, but they couldn’t intimidate the experienced warriors.

Soon Thor used Mjölnir to wipe the mist away and better their chances to see as they climbed higher and higher on the hill. They were so close and Thor was getting more impatient. Fighting off another dozen of guards he heard Volstagg shout at him to go ahead and search for Jane before they’d be overpowered.

“Are you sure?” he shouted back as he smashed a guard into pieces.

“Yes! Go! We’ll catch up” Lady Sif answered instead and Thor nodded raising his hammer. Finally he could fly and save Jane. It took only a few seconds to reach the top of the hill and land in front of the main gate of the castle. He finished off the attacking guards with a few blows and ran into the main hall, but stopped abruptly as he set his blue eyes on a familiar figure, who was keeping his hands behind his back and smirked unpleasantly.

“Welcome, brother. I hope you had a pleasant journey” Loki grinned with a smug expression on his pale face.

“Loki…” Thor swallowed hard seeing him again. It could still move something deep inside him, but he chose to ignore it “You have someone who belongs to me. Where is Jane and what have you done to her?” he frowned and walked closer.

“Now, now, brother. It is not nice to assume that I’ve hurt her” he raised an eyebrow, his voice dripping from irony. “What makes you think that she hasn’t enjoyed herself during her stay?”

“Loki, please stop this. There’s no need to make things even more complicated than they already are” Thor tried to reason with him, but as he looked into the other man’s green eyes he knew it was in vain. He could still remember how it felt looking into those irises when he only saw love and adoration in them.

“No need? Are you serious? You know my motives, dear brother. You know why I’m doing this and you know why I despise you” he hissed stepping closer, but quickly regained control over his features and looked at the bigger man coldly. “You have no idea what kind of things you’ve set into motion. But sooner or later you’ll realize and that’ll be the day when I win.”

“Is that really so important to you, Loki?” he asked softly “To drag me down and make me feel more miserable than I already am because I’ve failed you?” he murmured questioningly, which earned him a disgusted snort that shot right into Thor’s heart although he didn’t show it.

“Yes. And I’ll be ravished and bask as vengeance will be mine. Sooner than you might think, dear brother…”

“What have you planned this time to torture me, Loki? Just tell me and get over with it so I can take Jane with me after we settle this.”

“You still think that she hated being here with me, don’t you? What makes you think she didn’t betray you already? Or you think you are the only man with charm in her life? Well, let me just tell you that you don’t know her true nature yet” he smirked smugly again.

“What are you talking about?” Thor frowned confused.

“Oh well, well, well… let’s just greet my new lover, shall we?” Loki turned to the side watching as Jane entered the hall following the ghost boy. He then glimpsed at Thor’s face to see his reaction. To see if he understood it.

Thor looked at Jane and that familiar boy and saw the confusion on her face that suddenly got pale hearing Loki’s words. “Jane?” Thor asked just as confused as slowly he understood the meaning of his brother’s words. “Is… is it true?”

Jane didn’t say anything at first, but the way she looked aside with a guilty expression made Thor’s heart ache. He knew Loki was feasting on that moment, but he couldn’t care less. He was betrayed after all. Loki won. He knew how charming and silver-tongued he could be.

“I’m… sorry…” Jane whispered looking at Thor with pain and guilt in her eyes.

“You… you tricked her into it!” Thor looked at his brother as rage was building up in his bulging muscles. All of a sudden he wanted to smash and destroy something… everything.

“What makes you think that, brother?” Loki chuckled and looked at Jane who was obviously devastated. The dark-haired man grinned but deep down he was less satisfied about seeing her like this than he’d expected. For a split second it crossed his mind that maybe he shouldn’t have used the first opportunity to play this card. But that doubt lasted only for a second then it was gone as if it never happened.

“You did enjoy having me inside you, didn’t you Jane?” he chuckled darkly and waved for the ghost boy who went to him and let Loki put his hand at the back of his head, which was strange for Jane even if her heart was aching and guilt paralyzed her.

“Leave him alone, Loki” she whispered avoiding the question, her voice sounding broken.

“Who? This little boy here?” he asked tightening his hold on him, but the ghost kid looked just as passive as before. “I know he helped both of you and it fascinates me how easily I can still fool you with my tricks, brother” he chuckled and let the boy go just to snap his fingers which made him disappear the way Loki’s projections usually did. “Yes, it was me behind this. I needed you Thor to get here faster after my plans with your cheater woman succeeded, and you” he turned to the hurt Jane “to get here in time when I make my dear brother realize what had happened between you and me.”

“You are a real asshole” it slipped out before Jane could stop herself, but she didn’t want to take it back. That’s how she saw Loki yet again. The childish hope of changing him at least a little shattering into pieces.

“Now that wasn’t too nice, Jane. This is how you talk to the man to whom you should be grateful for turning you into your new, improved self?” he raised a brow, already waiting for Thor’s reaction.

“What… is he talking about? What else did he do to you?” he asked Jane frowning and looking even more confused and angry.

“I… my dear brother… made her…” Loki started but was interrupted by Jane, who moved so fast that even she got surprised when she found herself pinning Loki against a pillar, her forearm against his throat.

“Shut up, you snake! Just shut up!” she yelled at him as anger flooded her mind in a split second. It seemed that her new powers and enhanced emotions were still difficult to control.

Both men looked surprised by her action, but in the next moment she felt a tight grip around her throat as a pale and cold female hand grabbed her and pulled her away from Loki. The dark-haired man laughed hoarsely, rubbing his throat where Jane’s arm was and grinned like a maniac as he watched the scene.

“My dear Jane, meet my daughter, Hel, the ruler of this realm” he laughed then turned back to Thor who was about to attack and protect Jane “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, brother. You know her abilities. You know she could suck Jane’s soul out in a second with that touch. And to answer your question, I made Jane eat one of Iðunn’s apples. She is stronger and immortal… for now. You know she’ll have to eat more of that before she has her fill and fully becomes like us. And… who knows what kind of effects it’d have on her human body in case she stopped the process…” he grinned darkly and that was it. Thor couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

The muscular body moved much faster than it was to be expected and in the next moment they were already fighting with Loki.

“You bastard!” Thor shouted as he swung Mjölnir in the air but Loki countered it with a spear that showed up from thin air.

Hel wanted to intervene but Loki shook his head, his usual sly smirk on his face as he was starting to enjoy the fight. It’s been a while and he always enjoyed fighting with his brother. They’d spent countless days with practicing, pushing their limits and learning every possible move the other could try to win the fight. Of course this resulted in neither of them winning, but there was no harm in trying it over and over. Loki was always confident that he could win the next time and he counted on Thor’s weak heart that didn’t let the blond man put all his strength in his blows, because he didn’t want to hurt his brother and later lover. Loki played exactly on that, because he wanted to hurt Thor. He didn’t know exactly why, but even as a teenager he wanted to hurt him despite the fact that he loved him. Maybe it was because of his other side, maybe something else. He couldn’t really explain it even to himself. And the situation hasn’t changed much since then. Now he just had more reasons to try and twist the offences made against him into motives. Inhuman power straining against inhuman power, one pair of eyes glistening in a maniac light, the other with worry and pain, weapons clashing against each other, the scent of sweat and determination heavy in the air. The never-ending fight was back on – only this time something was different. Thor was different. He was fighting with anger, he put in all he got, making it harder for Loki to fend him off. It was time to use some of his tricks too…

Jane froze for a few moments from the tight grip around her throat as the fighting began. She could hear the similar noises louder from outside, which meant that Thor’s friends were getting closer to the main gate. She tried to think fast and come up with something to stop this madness. She had no idea about the powers of this woman, who was introduced to her as Loki’s daughter. That was news to her, but she couldn’t think much about it. She had to find a way to get free and get between the brothers.

Her chance came when Fandral burst into the main hall, fighting himself through a couple of the eerie guards. Jane’s eyes met with the warrior’s for a second and as Hel’s attention was drawn to the man and the other Asgardians’ appearance, Jane beautifully performed a few tactics she’d learned during her self-defense classes and now came very handy as Hel didn’t expect her to use them with such strength. Jane’s eyes grew wide as she watched Hel hit the nearby wall. She was free and she could see the obviously surprised Fandral head towards Loki’s daughter, telling Jane to do something about the brothers.

She took a deep breath and ran towards the brothers as the noise of the fighting suddenly became much louder while Lady Sif and Volstagg tried to fight back the guards by the door and Thor summoned some lightning, ducking some daggers from Loki. Jane didn’t really have a plan, she just ran towards them, hoping that they wouldn’t accidentally – or on purpose – kill her. She knew it was probably the worst idea she had ever had, but she couldn’t come up with anything else to grab their attention. She could see that they were already panting and injured here and there.

Thor was about to summon another lightning, just wanting to finish this for once and for all. He grew tired of Loki’s games and that he always wanted to kill him or ruin and take away everything he cared and fought for. His newest accomplishment hurt Thor just as much as his first betrayal that had ended their relationship. He was stomping on Thor’s heart, throwing his sharp daggers right into the middle of it. The rage that’s been bottled up inside of him on their way to save Jane just exploded inside of him and governed his actions without giving them a second thought. That’s when Jane’s familiar figure came into the picture and Thor was forced to direct the striking lightning to the left, blowing a big hole in the dark stone wall, sending dust all over the hall as the rocks literally exploded out of their place. In that moment Loki stopped himself from throwing his next dagger too, although he held onto it as he watched Jane’s back in front of him when she appeared between them, holding out her arms in the air to stop Thor from sending another lightning at him.

As the roar of the thunder and the explosion ebbed down Jane turned sideways to be able to look from one man to the other, her arms still outstretched between them, although she knew – if they wanted to – they could’ve easily ignored her attempt to stop them.

“You two… just… stop it already! Look at yourselves! This whole fighting doesn’t make any sense!” she shouted at them in anger and to let them hear what she was saying since the clashes of swords were still loud around them.

“Jane, step aside. I want to finish this with my brother for once and for all” Thor said, looking at his still slightly surprised brother with determination in his blue eyes.

“That’s right. Why should we stop now that we are through the warm up exercises?” Loki snarled, ready to attack again, never letting his guard down.

“Oh for Christ’s sake!” Jane exclaimed as she looked at the dark-haired brother “Because you both still love each other! That’s why!”

“You know nothing, Midgardian!” Loki spit flinching.

“Jane… I have to agree with my brother on this… you…”

“Don’t bullshit me! I’m not talking about brotherly love here! I just know that it’s much deeper than that… don’t ask me from where or how, but I have eyes and I can just feel it. I know and that’s the real reason behind your constant fighting!” she spoke her mind, surprising both men. “To be more exact, denying that love and lying to yourselves is what makes you two such assholes, dragging innocent lives into this mess. Just stop it! Aren’t you two tired of fighting with each other all the time? Wasn’t it enough yet?! It’s like in kindergarten all over. Why can’t you two just admit what you are feeling? Why all this destruction and death that you two leave after each other? Playing games…” she looked at Loki “and hurting each other in various ways” she turned to Thor.

She saw the shock and worry appear on the muscular man’s face. Jane thought she knew what made him worried. She shook her head “No, Thor, it doesn’t bother me. I just want you to stop this and allow yourself to be happy. And I cannot believe I’m saying this…” she turned to the other man “but I want the same for you too, Loki despite all the shit and pain you caused to us and others. I could see into you while we were together and I know what I saw and felt there. The same I saw and felt in Thor. So stop this nonsense already!”

Loki was about to say something – probably wanting to protest or deny everything – when there was another explosion from the other side of the hall where the fighting was still on. All three of them looked over there. Jane couldn’t decide what caused it, but she recognized Volstagg’s voice as he yelled to Thor.

“Thor, Lady Sif is injured! We have to go NOW!” he shouted, carrying the unconscious warrior towards them while Fandral fought off the guards. Hel wasn’t following them, her eyes locked with Loki’s for a second.

“We aren’t done, brother” Thor told to the other man and grabbed Jane’s hand to pull her with him as they ran after his friends, who already climbed out on the hole Thor’s lightning made on the wall. While running Jane glimpsed back at Loki, who was standing there motionless, his green eyes burning in an unknown fire that penetrated her soul. Guards were passing him, chasing them, but the dark-haired man remained there, his jaw tensing as the eye-connection broke and Jane let Thor pull her outside in the clear and cold air.

“Heimdall, now!” he shouted towards the gloomy skies and the beam of white light came in the next moment, taking them far away from the land of frozen ice and hearts.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_“Musing through memories,_   
_Losing my grip in the grey._   
_Numbing the senses,_   
_I feel you slipping away._

_Every night, I dream you still here._  
 _The ghost by my side, so perfect so clear._  
 _When I awake, you disappear,_  
 _Back to the shadows_  
 _With all I hold dear…”_  
                       (Still Here)

Another sleepless night when I’m lying wide awake, staring at the richly decorated golden ceiling. I’m in Asgard once again. Carefully getting out of the huge bed I look back at my sleeping love. I stroke out a few strands of blonde hair from his face then get up, putting his red cape around my naked body as I walk to one of the huge windows that look down at the beautiful city lit by the stars and the warm lights of lamps. My eyes follow the soft pulsing of the rainbow bridge that runs across the whole city. It’s in the middle of the night and sleep just doesn’t want to come to me.

I know why. If I close my eyes I can still see that soul-searching green stare of Loki before we left Niflheim. That explosion that hurt Lady Sif came in possibly the worst moment. The three of us really should have talked about a lot of things. I still think that if we sat down, we would be able to clear everything and maybe persuade Loki to stop his suicide mission that tries to systematically destroy every possibility to be happy and get back what he and Thor used to have. Would it be possible to figure out some kind of a setting that’d allow the three of us to be together and put the past pains behind us? I want to believe there is a way… But how am I supposed to find that? I can see on Thor that he is in pain because of his brother and probably because of my betrayal too. We talked about what’d happened between me and Loki, and he doesn’t seem to blame me, but I can feel that he blames himself for that. Which is bullshit, because that was my decision too, even if I was under the influence of that golden apple.

Since we got back more than a week ago it turned out during our night-long conversations with Thor that eventually, the question of making me similar to them with the help of the apple would’ve come up, but of course Loki had to mess things up for us. Although Thor said that he forgave me, I’m not sure he really meant it after such a short time. I’m not sure he was completely honest about his feelings. I, for one, surely cannot forgive myself for betraying him like this. I wish I could just swipe it under the rug and forget about it, but I know well that thorns left in the wound can poison us. And I don’t want to let the poison spread and ruin what we have. I don’t want my warm sun to turn into darkness. It’d mess up the balance.

I had a dream about this. I was standing in a dry desert with my hands held out by my sides, like a living and breathing scale. A warm and radiant sun was held in my left hand and a cool full moon in the other. If I close my eyes, I can still feel how I tried to balance them every time they wanted to move away from their fate. First I didn’t want to believe what I felt from that dream: a small but ever since blooming feeling, a certainty that this was my purpose. Could that be true? I never believed in signs, I was a scientist thinking rationally but since the universe opened up in front of me I’ve seen so many wonders that cannot be explained by logic… Maybe from now on I should start believing in signs too… But even if I did… how should I do this? How can I fulfill the purpose the universe gave me? How will I be able to balance such a delicate relationship like Thor and Loki has? Was it even possible to influence Loki? He isn’t the kind of man who’d do what he didn’t want to…

“Why aren’t you in bed, my love?” I suddenly hear and jump a little as I feel Thor’s big hand on my naked shoulder. Holding his red cape around me a bit tighter I turn my head to look up into his sleepy blue eyes as I shrug.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

I can see him eying me for a few seconds then he nods as if he knew what was going on. I turn back to look at the sleeping city, the guards watching over it. I bite the inside of my lip as my thoughts are still running through my head.

“You miss him?” I hear the quiet and somewhat hoarse question from behind.

Denying it would be a foolish thing to do. By now Thor knows me better than that. I slowly nod and sigh “I do. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Jane. To be honest… I miss him too” he confesses which makes me nod.

“You have a long history together.”

“That we have… And you really aren’t bothered by it?”

“No. I understand.”

“Not many would. And not many would’ve guessed it. We were always more than careful about this.”

“It took some time for me too, but… I’m good at connecting the dots, remember?”

“Yes. You are a scientist, Jane Foster” he chuckles low and squeezes my shoulder.

“Or I used to be. I’m different now.”

“That’s true. I love the new you too. You know it, right?”

“You do?” I ask and turn around to face him. I want to see his expression as I let him put his muscular arms around me. I can tell he likes me wearing his cape like this.

“I do. It’ll take a little more time for me too to get used to it… But for once maybe Loki’s deed wasn’t that horrible. Your apples will arrive soon and you’ll be able to complete the process of becoming the strong queen I’ve always wanted on my side.”

“Yes…” I nod and caress his wide chest with one hand, lost in my thoughts “Thor…” I start as I look up into his eyes “I’m afraid though. Is that normal?”

The white smile he gives me warms my heart like always and I already feel a little better on the inside “I’d worry if you weren’t afraid, Jane. I can imagine how frightening this might be for you. A new world, a new love… a new life. But you are one of the bravest persons I’ve ever known. You are strong, and not just because of the golden apple, but on your own. I could tell the minute I set my eyes on you in that desert” he tightens his embrace around me “I love you Jane Foster, and I’ll do everything in my might to help and protect you.”

This finally brings a smile on my face too and I pull him down for a soft kiss. It’s unbelievable that even his kiss reminds me of the sun. “Thank you, Thor. For everything” I mumble and after he nods we just watch each other for a long minute. “Do you think… do you think he’s already preparing for a war?”

He knows I’m talking about his brother and ex-lover. His eyes darken and a few wrinkles appear on his forehead as he frowns. A heavy sigh leaves his lips as he reaches for my hand on his chest and holds it there in his much bigger one. “It is very much possible, my love. I’m afraid I don’t know him anymore.”

“Of course you do” I shake my head in denial “He might have changed a lot, but I know that he’s the same person deep down. I mean… he still loves you… Is there any way we could meet up with him in person and talk about this? Because we have a lot to talk about. Maybe… maybe we could persuade him to stop the war and stop his attempts to ruin you and his home.”

I could see Thor’s eyes round a bit to my words. “You’d be willing to try that? You’d be willing to let him come back?”

“Yes” I tell him without any hesitation while it crosses my mind that it’d be tricky to persuade Odin and the rest of Asgard not to execute or punish Loki severely. Would they kill him for high treason and everything he’d done so far? Would they be able to forgive him at all?

“Why?” Thor wants to know and I can see that he got unsure. Was he afraid that he could lose me over his brother?

“Because I have to help if I can. I want you to be happy and I know that without Loki back in your life, you’ll never be fully happy, even if I was on your side as your queen. Your connection runs too deep. Can I talk openly?”

“You don’t even have to ask that, Jane” he smiled then watched me curiously as this time it was my turn to explain things to him.

“I’m no expert on this field” I smiled nervously “but well… since the Aether and my transformation… I see the world differently. These things kinda sharpened my senses and I think I can feel you two… you are like the light and Loki the darkness… and I’m in the middle, connecting you two. I believe without light there cannot be darkness and vice versa. I’ve read about this somewhere and on Earth they are called soulmates. Two parts of the same soul, completing each other.”

“But you could see that we don’t work well together…” he tilts his head to the side as he thinks my words over.

“I believe that’s why sometimes people like you might need a link, a third person to balance the two sides out?” I rather ask than claim since I’m unsure about this whole thing too, not certain that I’m right, although my gut tells me otherwise.

“Maybe you’re right, Jane. I’ve seen stranger things” he nods and squeezes my hand on his chest.

“Would you want to try it?” I ask curious and maybe a bit hopeful too.

He looks at me seriously for a long moment then nods again “I believe so.”

I can feel another smile appear on my face and we leave it that way as I nuzzle close and rest my head against him, thinking about how things would be different if this actually worked. Would Loki be up to this? Would he even bother to try? Not for us but for himself? Would he be willing to put all his hurt feelings aside and give a chance to this opportunity? To us? I’m sure I’ll never know if we don’t try.

Opening my eyes as I’m still in Thor’s strong arms I think back on all that’d happened since the dark-haired man came for me. To be honest, it still amazes me how much and how quickly someone’s opinion can change about a person, whom she hated beforehand. And how she can miss that person and his sneaky ways.

***

_You've got everything to lose  
Yeah I'm waiting on you_

_Roam with me_  
 _Come down to where all of the others fell_  
 _Get lost in the dark to find yourself"_  
                             (Where the Lonely Ones Roam)

I am truly acting pathetic. I’ve been sitting around in my room since the fight. What’s wrong with me? Even my daughter expressed her concern about me. She told me I’ve changed. Did I? I told her she was wrong, but deep down I know she’s right. I’m not the same. Not since Jane Foster came along. What is it in that woman that has such an effect on me? What kind of power does she have over me? Why can’t I forget how she tasted, how her voice sounded and what she said before they left?

Get a grip of yourself, Loki! You have a war to organize and prepare for… You cannot get soft now. Not when victory is so close. Or is it? Do I still want it? Yes! What she’d said about me and Thor doesn’t change anything! Yeah… keep lying to yourself…

“Damn you, Jane Foster…”

Why can’t I banish the thoughts about a different future out of my mind? I’m not like this. I’m cruel, sly and cunning. I’m the master of tricks and mischief. I’m not a soft-hearted fool like my brother… Thor, damn you too for finding this woman and putting me into such a situation!

Picking up the black glass from the table I drink from my wine and look back into the mirror that shows her in my brother’s arms, having no idea that they have an audience. Was she serious just now? Would she really want to try that? Would she be really willing to leave safety and try to persuade me? This woman was either crazy or brave… Either way she managed to make me consider the possibility itself – which is a big achievement, I give her that. Maybe I was wrong and it wasn’t just me who got into her mind. It seems she got into mine too. Interesting.

“It should be amusing to find out how this will work out…” I whisper into the silence of the room as I lean back in my armchair, my eyes on the mirror that shows them kissing before the picture slowly vanishes “We shall see how you and my brother will like my darkness…”

 

**THE END**

 

 

By: Useless-girl  
05/12/2013 – 06/02/2014


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